Spine Cuff

In anatomy, there is a name for the two indentations in the lower back on either side of the spine above the buttocks. I cannot remember the name, suddenly, because I am distracted by thinking of my assistant in his saggy jeans today.

Those two indentations are clearly being neglected as an obvious location for a new type of jewelry. It is a cuff - either thick as 4cm or as dainty as a wire - that is threaded through the skin at the site of these two indentations (piercing at the center of each indentation, wire threaded underneath skin and exposed on the outside). It would look something like a drawer handle emerging from one's lower back. It could be used to hang things from, as well, or to pull your assistant back into the office when he leaves the boxes he's supposed to take to FedEx.

The only problem with the design is leaning one's back against things - you can't, or it will hurt a LOT. Actually, it may be an aid for posture, so that you learn not to balance yourself on your lower back when you sit and keep your spine erect. It may help people who suffer from scoliosis, as well.

Also, a small dish can be inserted into the cuff, should one please, and be used as an ashtray by the person seated behind you. Or, you could lock people together by their cuffs, back to back, in order to engage in some sado-masochistic ritual if desired.

I envision my spokeswoman as Jennifer Lopez, shaking her pink diamond cuff. My spokesman is obviously my assistant, getting dragged around by me.