h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Fortune cookies are almost always frustratingly vague, sometimes even to the point of ludicrousness ("something good is just around the corner"). Even curiouser, I've recently recieved a few fortunes that AREN'T ACTUALLY FORTUNES. "You have a way with words" isn't exactly a shining prediction of the
future.
The next time I eat Chinese food I want to get a fortune cookie that says "You will die next thursday", or maybe "Someone will step on your foot in 5 minutes and 37 seconds."
Emoticons might be added for effect - "You will die next Thursday :( ". Or, alternately, to lighten weighty news -- "You will die next Thursday :)".
Unusual Fortune Cookie Collection
http://home.nc.rr.c.../fortunes_index.htm
Photos of odd fortune cookie fortunes. Small collection but nicely done. [bristolz, Mar 16 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]
Not _exactly_ what you are looking for.
http://www.homestar...er.com/fortune.html
Flash fortune cookies. Try them multiple times for seconds of fun. [swamilad, Oct 04 2004]
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Something I've wanted to see in a fortune cookie is either "Berware the Ides of March!" or "You Have Just Enjoyed an Inferior Meal." |
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You have gone batty _^0^_. |
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the chef pissed in your hot and sour soup-have a nice day. |
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Sorry, I've retired from correcting typos, there are just too many and I really do have bigger fish to fly. Also, I may just need to "Berware the Ides of March". |
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My favorite is: "That wasn't chicken". |
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How about a web site with a CGI form to let
you submit a fortune, to be printed as part of
the next batch of fortune cookies? |
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I recently went to a Chinese restaurant and got a fortune cookie that said, "Help! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!" |
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My all time favorite fortune: "You may be hungry soon: order take-out now." |
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I used to eat at a chinese buffet for lunch every day until my cookie fortune read: "Try something new". |
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I think Penn & Teller had an idea for one that said
That lump is cancer. |
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What about "Siht daer ot rorrim a deen lliw uoy"? |
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A pastry is in your future. (+) |
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I've always thought it would be cute to put a marriage proposal in your date's fortune cookie. |
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Tried it once. She married the chef. |
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I wanted to do this at a party once. I considered pulling all the fortunes out and substituting my own, but the cookies were sealed too well. Then I considered baking them myself, but the expense of the heat resistant paper and ink was too great. So, yes, I would like to see these either mass produced or in the form of a DIY kit. |
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In some hole-in-the-wall chinese joint in Michigan I got a fortune that stated "You love chinese food". Seriously... I still have it, just to show people when they don't believe me. |
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"Dial 1-800-MISS-CLEO for real fortune." |
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Your luck number:
6 19 21 25 35 50 |
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To make just about any fortune cookie fun, have a fellow diner ask you a question. I asked my friend what lay ahead in his love life and his fortune was "Constant grinding will reduce an iron rod to a steel needle." |
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I've had this idea myself!
I love it! Sometimes normal fortune cookies are funny though, when the translations are poor. I got one that said, "listen more to mother's exhortations." |
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