Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Spam Fax Class Action Collection Service

Remuco's newest offering
  (+7)
(+7)
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Sick of spammers wasting your expensive fax machine ink with phony invoices for trips to Hawaii?

Email a scan of the fax to Remuco with the attached filled out affidavit affirming that this company cost you 2 cents worth of ink. For every 350,000 complaints we receive, we will take your case to small claims court and sue for the return of your two cents. The max available in small claims court is $7,000 and our fees are about, oh, $7,000, but you'll get the satisfaction of knowing you've stuck it to some pain in the ass company with a fax spam list.

(Remuco is a subsidiary of the law offices of Milkem, Bilkem and Screwem LLC.)

doctorremulac3, Aug 02 2011

join this guy http://consumerist....-didnt-ask-for.html
[xandram, Aug 03 2011]

//evil ideas used for good// http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070735/
[mouseposture, Aug 06 2011]

[link]






       Your fees are contingent, of course?
mouseposture, Aug 03 2011
  

       Yes, you pay nothing until we get paid, at which time we keep a small 100% service fee from the money collected. Afterwords, you're welcome to pay us as much or as little as you want beyond that.   

       And remember our slogan: at Remuco, we're not happy, till you're not happy.
doctorremulac3, Aug 04 2011
  

       Unfortunately this kind of thing can't actually work because people owning such companies operate for a month or two and then close up shop and open a new company in a new place. By the time lawsuits, cops, and regulators get to them they're long gone and no forwarding address.
Voice, Aug 05 2011
  

       I'm sure it would work *quite* well for Mssrs. Milkem, Bilkem and Screwem.
mouseposture, Aug 06 2011
  

       Another idea might be to swamp them with phony orders I suppose. It's probably illegal to give out phony made up credit card numbers but those out there with a penchant for naughtiness could always say they misread their credit card. "Those damn squirrels stole my reading glasses again."   

       "Hey Vladmir, how many orders we get today?" "352,347." "Any real credit card numbers?" "Niet." "Perhaps we see now evil is wrong path to go down. I join honest work force now."
doctorremulac3, Aug 06 2011
  

       What are the odds one of those numbers is real? Depending on the answer, there might still be a business model in this. You attempt to bill all the numbers (for large sums, clearly stated in the spam), and, when you hit the jackpot, you claim to have been the victim, rather than the perpetrator, of a scam.   

       Not really workable. But what *would* be workable is to sell shares in the above proposal to credulous marks.
mouseposture, Aug 06 2011
  

       We're not talking about going over to the dark side are we? I only want my evil ideas used for good.
doctorremulac3, Aug 06 2011
  

       //We're not talking about going over to the dark side //   

       Perish the thought. The essence of a good con is to make the mark think *he* is the one on the inside <link>. Honest people will respond to the offer with "No, thanks. Your proposal sounds immoral," and suffer no loss.
mouseposture, Aug 06 2011
  
      
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