Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Spaghetti Carboneutral

Environmentally friendly
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Fresh from the BorgCo research kitchens comes an intriguing new product to affect your taste sensors.

To ensure the survival of many threatened species (including yours) living under the looming threat of climate change, we are now able to offer this unique new comestible.

To satisfy even the most hard-line eco-warrior, it's manufactured entirely from carbon-neutral renewable ingredients and is definitely Vegan. Even the packaging meets stringent specifications.

Unfortunately, to meet said requirements, the meal is not only indigestible, but contains almost no nutrition, being made almost entirely from chopped, shaped and flavoured cellulose from renewable sources (even the sauce); so consumers will slowly but inevitably starve to death.

But they'll feel so good while they're doing it ...

8th of 7, Oct 29 2019

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       Given the developed world's expanding waistline, I think it's high time someone developed zero-calorie food. It's therefore possible that you have, inadvertently, proposed something that would be widely beneficial.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 29 2019
  

       How is this different from 50% of the products for sale in most supermarkets?
pocmloc, Oct 29 2019
  

       Much supermarket food provides what are known as "empty calories", whereas this product appears to provide "empty emptiness".
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 29 2019
  

       It’s like a second cup of coffee, except without the first cup of coffee, so the second one is not provided.
xenzag, Oct 29 2019
  

       >being made almost entirely from chopped, shaped and flavoured cellulose from renewable sources   

       sounds more like spaghetti metamucil
Cuit_au_Four, Oct 30 2019
  

       Does it come in 3 different colours?   

       Hey, if you added Biochar, it could be net-negative spaghetti.
Frankx, Oct 30 2019
  

       So that's what those little black flecks are ...   

       // left over in the kitchen from my Keto phase //   

       "No shit, Sherlock ..."
8th of 7, Oct 30 2019
  
      
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