h a l f b a k e r yIt's the thought that counts.
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As well as a comprehensive etiquette guide (is the Muslim corpsicle considered "halal" ?), the package contains recipe books, packets of selected herbs and spices (enough for 6 weeks of "bare bones" living or 2 hours of TV drama, whichever comes first), cookware which size and shape are based on human
anatomy, a dozen straws with an instructional video, and a small shovel to bury the bones.
[link]
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Maybe the in-flight magazine could feature recipes. |
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What if you're the only person on the plane that didn't get incinerated in the crash fireball ? |
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/the only person/
You may conclude there is something very different about you. During your isolation consider further experiments with fire (you may use provided cookware) to explore the possibility that you may be a robot or a demigod. |
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// you may be a robot or a demigod. // |
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We're a bit of both, actually, but thankyou for mentioning it. |
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I didn't know demigods had bits. |
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//only person// The handbook appendix contains a selection of Descartes treatises plus some helpful tips should you be the sole survivor with no edible compatriots, eg: "Save your head for last". |
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I've always been keen on the idea of a couple of potatoes wrapped in foil under the seats. Should the airplane crash and burn, at least they'll be jacket potatoes for the fire crew/survivors. |
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//I didn't know demigods had bits. |
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I think it's more bytes that bits, and the first byte is the deepest |
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//"Save your head for last".// |
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That reminds me of a Roahl Dahl short story about a surgeon who gets stuck on a desert island and resorts to performing increasingly large amputations on himself (to eat) and survive. I think he was rescued in the end with little more than his head and one arm. |
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Absolutely cannot find the name of it. Great little story. Maybe a little dark... |
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Sounds like "Survivor Type" by Stephen King. |
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"Lady-fingers, they taste just like lady-fingers." |
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Ooooh, could be King's as well. In my mind it was Roahl Dahl - his non-childrens fiction was always very dark. Thanks. |
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You're welcome, I haven't seen the name Roahl Dahl yet so... thank you right back. |
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// I haven't seen the name Roahl Dahl yet // |
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You're in for a treat, then, and like as not
several episodes of waking suuddenly in the
night, screaming. |
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Yeah, his childrens books, whilst his most famous, are actually not as good as his mature fiction. |
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