h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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Why not also the sound of bees, and the dispensing of jam? |
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Totally needless pedantry: The "sound of a sword being drawn" is the sound of metal scraping, which is a sign that something is wrong, somewhere---probably the edge of the sword is being dulled. |
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That said, you could probably nail a tin can's lid to the knife block, and slide the back of the knife against it. |
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How about an anxious voice saying “Oh my god he's got a knife in his hand! He just picked up a knife! Please god leave me along, don't use the knife, please put the knife down now, we can talk about this OK?” |
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(But what [BB] said too). |
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How about an Arthurian version? Make the block out of stone, with strong magnets holding the knife in place. If you're strong enough to pull it out, a trumpet from heaven sounds, and declares you King of England. |
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The knife block should emit a gurgled scream when you replace a knife in the block. |
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Excalibur knife block - [Wrongfellow], suitable for its own entry, I like that. |
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[+] but mainly for hippos comment. |
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Totally needless pedantry part 2: Excalibur was given to Arthur by the Lady in the Lake. I'm not sure what the sword in the stone was called, but it wasn't the same one. |
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// should emit a gurgled scream // |
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Could be neatly combined with the well-
known "Human Head Knife Block" (q.v.). |
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Did I mention that when you replace a knife in the knife block (causing it to emit a gurgled scream) the integrated ketchup dispenser is also activated? |
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Also, the little supporting struts that are discretely holding the knifeblock upright, are silently retracted. |
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Fantastic ! Although Presumably you would have to push
the knife in just a bit further to actually dispense the
ketchup, enabling both regular ketchup dispensing and
preventing the unnecessary pile of ketchup on the floor. |
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Totally Needless Pedantary in response to prior needless pedantry. Different sources refer to either the sword in the stone, or the sword from the lady as Excalibur (Caledfwlch, originally). At least one later source has both sharing a common name, as Arthur throws the former away after accidentally killing a knight, but names the new one for the old. |
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The Lady is largely a later addition to the stories, not generally found until the post vulgate literature. Since this version is used by both Tennyson and White, however, it is the best known among modern readers/viewers. |
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Is the Monty Python quote even necessary here? Not
really? Hm, okay. |
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Oh, what the hell: “Strange women lying in ponds
distributing swords is no basis for a system of
government.” |
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A rusty grating sound would be my choice [+] |
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What sound does a rusty grating make? |
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It would make the sound of iron oxide diffracting. |
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//Sound effect knife block// |
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[MaxB], I liked the "diffracting" comment. |
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I've always held the opinion that when drawing a blade of
any type it is best to make no sound whatsoever. |
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<Sound of Lightsabre activating> |
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Ah, yes, I do like that one. Solid blades should always be
silent, however. It's one of their primary advantages over
other, um, implements. |
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There ought to be a Chinese copy, which for some strange
reason, gives the sound of a machine gun against the dancing
movement of the block. |
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Very much approve of this idea. Stamped with the
blissmiss Good House Keeping stamp! |
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I suggest building this feature into the knife block *without* advertising it to the buyer, AND having it happen only the first time. The user will spend his whole life trying to get that sound to happen again, to no avail. |
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