Soffets with Integrated Christmas Lights

Nick dreaded this job. Beth was a Christmas fanatic, it seemed, and every year there were more lights to untangle, check, and hang on their ranch home. The colonial down the street always put up a good show, and Beth could never allow their residence to be outdone. The days of the lightwars had come, when brave men hung out over ladders too far and the emergency rooms were kept well-stocked with broken arms. To pass the time, Nick started humming...

Twinkle twinkle lights aglow,
How you glisten o'er the snow.
People stop to gawk and yak,
Gridlocked in our cul-de-sac.
Now you're up and bringing cheer--
Why not leave you up all year?

Meanwhile, nextdoor, Paul was finishing up the electrical work on his latest home improvement. He would not have to battle ladders on icy pavement any longer. He had just installed his electroluminescent salvation: the combination soffet-light string. At the flick of a switch, 3000 bright chaser LED's encircled the house, which now vaguely resembled the mothership from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Perfect.