h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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Social Distancing Selfie Stick
An extensible stick deployable to 6 feet, or 2 meters, enforcing the mandated inter-personal distancing to slow the spread of viral infection. | |
The social distancing stick can be fitted with several different distal tips, or with a revolving cylinder of selectable tips activated by a control on the proximal end of the stick.
Among the available tips, a red flag can be extended, as a reminder, or warning.
Some people don't get it, and need
more. For this purpose, an air bag inflates at the end of the stick. This facilitates pushing or if necessary, bopping, intruders on your personal space.
A sanitizer tip emits a bleach spray or mist for use on offending surfaces and/or unsanitized persons.
A cylinder can be loaded with a shotgun shell for worst-case scenarios.
[link]
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"le [xenzag] petomaine" would be the definitive authority on that one. The french are all super-farty to begin with, add a vegan diet et viola ! "Beware, no naked flames" ... |
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I've been thinking of using my laser distance measure for this purpose. It's non-contact and hard to swat from 2 m away, which is nice, but it doesn't clearly show the other person how far away they are vs. how far away they should be. Instead, I'd have to either back up myself or ask them to back up. Thoughts? |
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Our thoughts are "Tell us more about the shotgun shell" ... |
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What calibre ? 12 gauge ? 20 gauge ? .410 is a bit ... weedy. Needs to be at least 20 gauge to get people's attention ... |
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I love the visual of someone trying to take a selfie with
someone else with a 6-foot long wand and their cell phone on
the panoramic view. |
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My grocery store limits the number of people inside. In the outdoor waiting line the woman behind me asked if we were far enough apart. I could have used the selfie stick then, to reassure her. |
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Or ask, "Can you smell my halitosis ?" |
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"By this time, his breath was undoing my tie." - Clive James. |
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Yes [farble], that's your one chance to smack someone
sideways with your stick. |
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I'd laugh if I was in line. I'd feel better all day. (Kidding, I
think) |
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I just posted on social media that I like the idea of a spear
which extends 4 feet beyond the reach of one's arm,
accompanied by a shirt which reads "Warning: if I can stab
you, you are too close!" |
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Don't worry, [21], no sane person* wants to come within ten metres of you. |
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Just wear a T-shirt with your name on it so they know who you are ... watch them flee in panic. |
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*Obviously this excludes [xenzag]. |
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[8th] I've been doing a booming business. My proximity is
in high demand. It's called "essential" bruv. |
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Repellent odor is not a good strategy for at least two reasons. (1) the aerosol virus comes from upwind sources. (2) there is evidence that coronavirus-infected people lose their sense of smell. Also, in my case, waiting to go into the grocery store, I was enjoying talking with that lovely lady from 6 feet away. |
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You got to have an actual conversation with an actual live female from 2m away ? Wow ... respect ... |
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[21], you can forget the T-shirt if you're not wearing your usual paper bag over your head .... |
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[8th] it's called bein incognitus, duh! Just think, a bronze-
tipped spear with a brass-shod mahogany shaft... |
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// a bronze- tipped spear with a brass-shod mahogany shaft // |
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