h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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NASCAR fans do not watch soccer matches. Soccer fans do not watch NASCAR races. These are the immutable truths of televised sporting event viewership. One sport involves high-performance machines racing at incredible speeds around an asphalt track, while the other is a game of precise ball control
on a grass pitch.
Together, these two seemingly opposite sports account for an immense audience, attracting nearly everyone on the hillbilly-to-hooligan continuum. Soccer stadiums can easily accompany 50,000 fans, while NASCAR tracks, at 2.5 miles in length, can house even more. To combine the Daytona 500 and the World Cup, simultaneously, on one ginormous stage, would attract an audience so unimaginably huge that the global economy would feel an electric surge. Beer companies could suddenly find whole new markets.
Thus, I propose we erect goalposts at the centre of the track infield and play a match of soccer while the stock cars circle about. The revenue generated from this event would be well worth the blatant disregard for safety. As an added bonus, fans of one sport may gain a newfound respect for those of the other.
Or it might erupt into a massive drunken brawl. Either way it would be good headlines.
Archie Leitch, as I am sure his mother might have called him
http://en.wikipedia...ki/Archibald_Leitch
[calum, Jul 03 2006]
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Annotation:
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+ I love this, as I don't watch either sport! Now chaos, I like that! |
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have the cars chasing the ball in the centre
and the footballers running around the
track pretending to be cars.... |
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The architecture of this idea is all wrong. Stadia that, through whatever fiscally motivated compromises were required, have both running tracks and football pitches are, in terms of atmosphere, shite. For a footie stadium, you want instead a good old Archibald Leitchean claustrophobic box, with the stands as close to the pitch as is possible, which suggests that with this idea you should maximise your revenues by putting the footie stadium inside the ring of the NASCAR infield* (would it fit? that's maths, so I don't know) and bank seating on both inside and outside sides of the stand. Also, you get to keep beer-swilling troglodtye footie fans segregated from the socially immiscible mass of their NASCAR counterparts. |
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* I will leave it to architect to decide whether the stadium could be reached by underpass, overpass, or mass participation "chicken." |
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I watch both NASCAR and Football, this would cut by television viewing time in half, thus freeing me up for more, uh, something. |
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The track at Daytona is more than large enough to comfortably contain a football pitch, if you can get rid of the rednecks in their RV's. |
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anything to stop me playing with my balls. |
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No known pathogen can live in beer. I'm convinced that that's the way that a NASCAR race stays sanitary. |
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Where would they park the hundreds of beer laden campers? |
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soccer inside a normal athletics track makes it harder to
see and hear what's going on, inside a NASCAR race that
would be much worse. Also, the fans (violent drunken
rednecks) could react badly with the fans (violent drunken
thugs) |
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