Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I think this would be a great thing to not do.

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Soap Chain

keeps your soap un-poopy
  (+2, -4)
(+2, -4)
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Simply a bar of soap attached to a chain near the top of the shower, restricting movement of the bar to no lower than shoulder level. This way, when you use the soap on your face, you can be reasonably sure nobody has swiped the soap through their butt crack like a credit card.
napoleonbag, May 15 2008

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       with a name like napoleonbag, I have to agree.
po, May 15 2008
  

       How does this differ from 'Soap on a Rope'? apart from the fact that you have a chain?. Is it industrial Strength?
gnomethang, May 15 2008
  

       re: gnomethang Given that Soap on a Rope has one loose end, I do not believe it guarantees an unpoopy bar, as does Soap Chain, which is secured to the ceiling above, dangling from a padlock.
napoleonbag, May 15 2008
  

       so.... what do you do about the unwashed asses ?
FlyingToaster, May 16 2008
  

       I don't like the idea because of what FlyingToaster said. However, a butt-shaped credit card processing machine is something I might support.
bneal27, May 16 2008
  

       Heh. You could have the opposite idea for keeping those grimy noses and ears from soiling all your asssoap.
daseva, May 16 2008
  

       Let's say you suspect your soap was swiped. Now what do you clean it with?
bneal27, May 16 2008
  

       I would suspect you can just run it under water for a few minutes to remove the layers that may have come in contact with crackage.
daseva, May 16 2008
  

       what happens if someone lathers their unmentionable regions, then touches your soap to get more lather? or worse, what if someone is mad you made the soap hard to use, and places a few hairs on it?   

       i suggest selectively electrified soap-- if crackage is detected, it shocks.
sninctown, May 16 2008
  

       I suggest the soap is made into a phallic shape, then no self respecting macho male would ever put it anywhere near his arse.
Ling, May 16 2008
  

       //so.... what do you do about the unwashed asses ?//   

       Use your credit card, apparently.
pertinax, May 16 2008
  

       You need a second bar of soap, chained to the bathroom wall at roughly groin-level, to allow cleaning of buttocks.
hippo, May 16 2008
  

       With all these chains and swiped buttocks, be sure to also have an industrial-strength cleaner. On a chain.
Amos Kito, May 16 2008
  

       I have a passive aggressive roommate and my toothbruth tasted funny this morning... anyways, you get the point.   

       Put it on a chain
daseva, May 16 2008
  

       or you could use liquid soap
jaksplat, May 16 2008
  

       Or bring your own bar soap.   

       Or rinse off the bar before you use it. (Good luck getting a chain clean.)   

       Or only live with people whose butts you approve of.   

       Or only live with people who you can talk to about sanitary preferences.   

       Or slip and fall while using the chain soap to wash around your neck.
baconbrain, May 16 2008
  

       SOAP DOES NOT GET DIRTY   

       you hold it under the shower for a second, GOOD AS NEW. Am I the only one familiar with soap here?
evilpenguin, May 16 2008
  

       //asssoap//   

       Asssoap, for Pete's sake. That's just funny to look at.
nomocrow, May 16 2008
  

       Problem - if a 5'2 woman I live with can get it to her face, then I can use it on my armpits. Since women are generally more fussy about hygene than men, I say this misses the target audience. Nice try but fishbone.
Bad Jim, May 16 2008
  
      
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