h a l f b a k e r y"It would work, if you can find alternatives to each of the steps involved in this process."
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I was strolling across the playground of my school yesterday and all the kids were playing football. I was dying to join in and Cruyff turn them all to death and rub their over energetic little noses in it, coz i'm obviously a caring and deep individual. But you know you get to an age where people assume
you can't do that stuff any more <sigh>.
Then, just as I was feeling very old and tired the ball came bobbling out of the massed scrum and rolled straight into my path. With out a second thought (such as ignoring it or tapping it gently back to the nearest kid) i leathered it with the outside of my boot causing it to arc beautifully into the top corner of the net from about 20 yards. A goal of such sublime glory that 10 yrs ago I probably would have spoiled my boxers over it.
The kids gawped. I nodded a knowing nod,as if to say 'and tommorrow boys, I'll teach you how to be men!!' and sauntered on as if nothing had happened.
As I trudged back to my classroom however, I pondered on how such a moment could be made any more perfect... and then it dawned on me. Smoke Trail!!! A small cannister in the ball, perfectly centred so as not to unbalance it. With a pressure gauge so that as soon as a shot of sufficient force is used a smoke trail describes the flight of the ball in a suitable colour. Howzat?
Smokin' Shot ~bz
[bristolz,
Feb 24 2005, last modified Jun 28 2005]
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You could start a team and call them "The Red Arrows" [+] |
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love the story, smoke trail, ehhh, maybe. would cloudy up the playing field wouldn't it? as if the dust (here anyway) wasn't enough for the kids to deal with. |
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perhaps there could be some kind of mechanism whereby the smoke is only activated in the penalty area? |
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Admit it, you sclaffed the kick and the ball trundled along the ground, spinning agonisingly wide of the post, the kids erupting into laughter and taunts. |
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ye know as I was walking away afterwards i got a real shiver down my spine thinking about what would've happened had I shanked it over the hedge or through a window or something. never would have lived it down. when I was 17 a knocked a girls front tooth out with a beatuiful 15yrd volley. it was 3 days before her formal (prom). :o/ |
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p.s it happened just as I described. |
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<maniacal vietnam vet voice> you weren't there man you don't know!! <maniacal vietnam vet voice> |
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I don't think you really need the smoke - you're gonna be the man of the match for months. |
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i'd just like the temporary memorial of greatness that a hanging smoke trail would provide. tracing a line of precision genius above the upturned, gazing faces of the startled adolescents. |
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oh I get it, this smoke trail only occurs when [eth] kicks one in. Hang the other 11 players. |
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Smokin good shot Mr. eth. |
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there are other players on the pitch [dent]? I never noticed that before. Its all about ME!! |
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Yeah UB, I've done something similar, but didn't quite damanage to rupture anything. |
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I tried golf but i keep topping the ball. its less like golf and more like cross country snooker. |
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What about the stunning, airborne overhead bicycle scissor kick that screams into the net...
only to be followed by the muffled grunts of the fallen footballer, now lying in a crumpled heap after landing on what can only be described a thoroughly dislocated elbow joint. (My goodness, it really, really hurt- but simultaneously gained me respect among friends and label as "feckin eejit" with medical staff) |
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'Feckin Eejit' that sounds familiar. Where did this calamity take place? |
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Tell the truth, [ether]. When you were finally out of the kids' line of sight, you pumped your fist in the air and clicked your heels midair. Nice shot. Fun idea. |
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Nice illustration, [bris]. I liked the idea even before I read it just by the drawing. |
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where do I squeeze my magic sponge? drip, drip.... |
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oh, wow bris! drip, drip, drip.... |
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I think it's a triffic idea. |
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I don't get the magic sponge thing, [po]. |
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brilllllliant bris. absolutely stupendous. thank you very much, big smile on my boyishly handsome face. |
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