h a l f b a k e r yContrary to popular belief
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A couple of preliminary axioms:
(1) Small dogs are stupid.
(2) To whatever extent they are not stupid, they use their
intelligence to figure out new stupid things to do (see Axiom
1).
(3) Drones.
From these axioms, MaxCo. is somewhat proud to have
produced the Small Dog Drone.
With a lifting capacity of
4kg
and a battery life of about 10 minutes, the SDD simply straps
to the back of your Small Dog. The rotors do stick out a bit,
but they are shrouded and hence protected from damage
and
entanglement.
You may now let your Small Dog off lead, whereupon it will
invariably pelt off into long grass after something it has
imagined, vanishing from view and revealed only by the
swishing of grass-tops several hundred yards away.
Once you are bored of yelling "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE
RIGHT NOW!" at the top of your lungs, simply open the app
on
your mobile telephone and press "HOME". Small Dog will
then
levitate out of the distant grass and travel back to you* in a
straight line. Once it has reached you, the SDD will hover
about 3ft off the ground, allowing you to re-attach the lead
to
prevent a recurrence.
[If "ShitZu" mode is engaged, it will travel to someone else
instead.]
Flying Monkeys
Flying_20monkeys
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jul 17 2019]
Kind of samey, if you squint in a dark room
Ekranoplanes_20for_20short-legged_20dogs
[not_morrison_rm, Jul 17 2019]
WIFRT...
https://www.gizmodo...d-up-living-humans/
I hoped it would be more like this. [neutrinos_shadow, Jul 18 2019]
[link]
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We'll take ten crates as a first order. Where should we send the payment ? |
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Just to the usual place. 20s and 50s only, non-consecutive
bills. Your delivery will be marked "Trakter Partz" as you
requested. |
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I can envisage a new event a Crufts. |
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What happens if the Jack Russel in question is 17ft into a
rabbit hole? Rotor clearance might be an issue, or a rabbit
might get shredded. |
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Alternatively, the same Jack Russell might have found a 9ft
tree limb to clamp its jaws on. The drone would pull, and
the dog would clamp harder, but ultimately the drone-dog-
tree limb combo would be significantly over weight. |
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...after the Giddy Monk who Loves Everybody equally, regardless of race, creed, colour, family affiliation--except for treats. Treats trump all allegiances. |
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I thought this was going to be a device which would actually let the rat-lings the rest of my family insist on calling dogs do something useful by being able to direct the flight path of their own drone with body movements. |
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// a rabbit might get shredded // |
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If a JR is involved, shredded rabbit is a certainty. Any sort of terrier presented with a rodent is pretty much the definition of blood-lust, but a JR is death on a blur of legs. |
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Allow a directional mechanism to be attached to the small dog head, and it shall have wings of its own. Flying dogs, what's not to like? |
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It could also be adapted for fishbowls. |
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I don't think there'd be a big market for allowing goldfish to
retrieve small dogs, but I could be wrong. I don't know many
goldfish. |
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What about your Great-Aunt Bolognesa ? The one with the scaly skin, that lives in the guest aquarium in the Nor'Nor-East wing ? |
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She's only an Associate Great-Aunt. She got the position
because we get a rebate for her under the EU Common
Agricultural Policy. Once we're out, so's she. |
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//I don't know many goldfish.// How odd, as you're
quite celeb with the school of local goldfish here. |
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Yes, but that was three minutes ago. |
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