h a l f b a k e r y[marked-for-tagline]
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Still can't quite believe no one has come up with a slide-rule trombone idea...but let's get on with it...
Strapped into the cockpit of future spacecraft, and a miniature one in spacesuit helmets, a slide-rule trombone.
A) Provide cheap entertainment for aforementioned astronauts during dull moments.
B)
In the event of catastrophic breakdown of onboard pc's and radio ((or the appearance of Sandra Bullock at the airlock) whichever is the worst), the astronauts have some method of calculating re-entry paths.
I rest my case.
[link]
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Slide rules also come in circular shapes. The perimeter
of a circular slide rule can be significantly greater than
a straight slide rule's length (allowing more-accurate calculations). If
you want the circular rule to be
musical, perhaps a cymbal? |
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Erm, far be it from me and all that, but cymbals might
be a tad tedious after the first three minutes. |
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Let me put it this way, would you rather be stuck on
space station with a Cosmonaut who`s been at the
coolant fluid who has a) cymbals or b) a trombone... |
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If he's been at coolant fluid I don't want him getting any funny ideas about where to stick it. |
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The thing is that without a lot of reshaping (the tools for which are (presumably?) unavailable on most spacecraft) a cymbal's entirely the wrong shape to engender any strange ideas on where it might fit. |
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So personally I'd feel safer with a cymbal. |
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<slips on fake beard and Austrian accent> "..und you are sure zis fear of trombones is not cymbalic of some earlier trauma?"</SF> |
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The slide-rule trombone also connects via a valve to a tube that goes outside, to suck hazardous floating globs of liquid out of the air. |
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Would make a kind of "glub, glub, glub" + possibly C sharp note as it does that. |
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I hope no one lets you near a trombone |
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//zis fear of trombones is not cymbalic of some earlier trauma?"// |
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Possibly a duck & a cellist were also involved, but it's all a bit vague so I may have just dreamed it. |
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So a cellist and a duck with a trombone walked into a pub, and barman said.... |
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//Doesn't matter in space. |
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If one was to bleed air from space-suit air-tank (very bad idea) into the trombone, with a microphone and a transmitter, it might be possible to blight the lives of many on the surface below with very poor brass renditions of D. Bowie's "Life on Mars". |
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Possibly this is why superpowers have tested ground to space missiles...the truth is out there.. |
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