h a l f b a k e r yCrust or bust.
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Many garden ornaments representing living creatures are
available, but all have their drawbacks. Model herons or
flamingoes are naff and, by not moving for an implausibly
long
time, give the game away. Pond-floating semi-submerged
alligators suffer from essentially the same problem, as do
various concrete or cast-resin small mammals. Gnomes are
available in many forms but, although nobody knows for sure
how much a real gnome moves, their prolonged immobility
(even whilst fishing or laughing) results in a loss of
credibility.
Leopards, however, are well known for (a) climbing trees
and
(b) falling asleep therein for extended periods of time.
Proposed, therefore, is a life-size, life-like all-weather
stuffed
leopard which can be draped over a high branch to
consternate neighbours and passers-by.
This is what happens to them when the trees are all gone....
https://futuremarke...s-inspirational-ad/ [xenzag, Sep 21 2019]
Animal adoption delivery
Animal_20adoption_20delivery Some real synergy possible. [8th of 7, Sep 23 2019]
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Annotation:
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Despite the famillial relationship, since this is not felix domesticus we are able to award a bun [+] |
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[xen], maybe the leopards could go to the Tree Museum. The charge for people is a dollar and a half just to see 'em, but if the leopard is an assistance leopard* it might get in for free. |
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*as in "This is my assistance leopard. If you don't let us both in for free, he'll eat your leg." |
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//felix domesticus// Sp. "Felis catus". |
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And yes, we know about the latin naming thing, we just can't write the actual words ... |
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[+] In the wrong, or maybe right neighborhood, this is going to have some holes. |
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I'd like to order mine in a cougar color scheme as those are
much more common than leopards in our area. |
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Your neighbours' consternation will gradually wane though as they become familiar with the leopard in your tree and as they realise it's a fake leopard. So, to keep the level of tension high there needs to be a service which, for just a single day every few years, will replace the fake leopard with a real leopard. Unwary neighbours will get mauled to death, sure, but that's a small price to pay for keeping the rest of them on their toes.
Also, do you sell fake snow leopards* for use in the winter?
[* that's {fake {snow leopards}}, not {{fake snow} leopards}] |
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A leopard that preferred fake snow would have an
interesting back story. |
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I can easily imagine a children's book "The Sad {{Fake Snow} Leopard}" - should be popular among the children of Halfbakers.
Follow-up: "The Friendly {{Fake Grass} Snake}" |
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"Snowy wasn't like other snow leopards, they loved
to romp and play in the snow, but Snowy would run
into the local department stores during Christmas
and roll around and play in the fake snow sprinkled
about the displays, for Snowy was apparently
addicted to the smell of polyethylene, an
uncommon occurance in snow leopards. Years of
sniffing the fake show had given Snowy a third eye,
with which he could shoot laser beams, or at least
he thought, because Snowy had, at this point,
suffered massive brain damage and had gone quite
insane..." |
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// replace the fake leopard with a real leopard.// |
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Sounds like an ideal partner to our Animal Adoption scheme ... <link> |
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I like that... - maybe one day someone will annotate that idea :-) |
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