h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Following on the success* of my //A method to avoid mass extinction events via giant ostriches// I was drying my hands in a loo and wondered if it might not be possible to adapt the hot air hand-dryer to give hamsters the effect of skydiving.
Obviously you could arrange a few side by side inside
a plexiglass tube pointing upwards and they could do team skydiving activities like join paws to make a circle with little smoke cannisters attached to one back leg.
I suspect the tricky part is not getting the little skydiving suits and goggles in a range of fetching colours but getting them to work as a team..
* complete lack of
Go on. Admit it. You didn't believe me.
http://i923.photobu...bakery/IMG_6573.jpg
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 06 2012]
A classic
evil_20laugh_20activated_20hand_20dryer
[DenholmRicshaw, Jan 07 2012]
[link]
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[+] automatic bun. The first step to train them would be to have a column of air between the living quarters and the food. The second step would be to devise a filter apparatus to trap the hamstershit that would come flying out the first few times they tried it. |
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Do Hamsters have a Reynold's number? |
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This would be so funny to see, even without the smoke. Yes,
definitely keep away from Ostriches. |
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Combine with evil laugh activation - or perhaps evil squeak or whatever noise hamsters make - to get evil skydiving hamsters. |
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This is why blind people don't skydive. It scares the dogs! However, I see no reason you could not only subject hamsters to the device you describe, but, after they have developed some level of proficiency, heave them out of a real plane along with their cousins (weasels, rats, and mice). To add a little drama to the aerial show, I would recommend pitching out some feral cats right behind them! Bun! [+] |
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I love this idea almost more than words can express. |
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//Do Hamsters have a Reynold's number?// |
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These numbers are used to predict fluid flow properties under specific conditions and for approximate geometries. I suspect a Hamster could be modeled as a sphere and some meaningful numbers could be used to predict turbulence flow, force diagrams and terminal velocities for a range of hamster sizes. |
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The real key to this data then will be to design specific flying gear for each individual Hamster so as to minimize fluctuations in terminal velocities as well as keep said velocities equal under a range of conditions. Fatter hamsters will be given more aerodynamic jumpsuits while little guys may require webbing to ensure comparable surface areas and thusly easier pattern formation amongst the rodents. |
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We will be delighted to furnish the team with their // little smoke canisters //, free of charge, in return for a ringside seat at the prototype testing. |
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//Do hamsters have a Reynold's number ?// [marked-for-tagline] |
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And what is a "mock hamster" anyways ? |
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It's like a mock turtle, but not really. |
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I happen to have a stuffed hamster. Its terminal
velocity, as near as I can judge by throwing at as
high I can, is something like 20-40mph. Whatever it's
stuffed with is about as dense as hamster innards, as
near as I can tell. |
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So, this is eminently doable. I guess a lot would
depend on whether the live hamster stretched its
little limbs out or rolled up into a ball. (My stuffed
hamster does neither.) |
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(link) well played [MB] well played. |
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Former pet or can you buy them by the gross ? |
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It was the result of a bet between Sturton and the
intercalary twin; how I came to own it is a rather
long story. |
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Come with me, if you will, to the Cigar Room in
the north-east wing, on a blustery February
afternoon... |
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But no. It would only make sense in context,
which would entail long and tedious diversions
through matrix algebra, the origins of golf, turkey
sexing, and a telephone engineer with six fingers*. |
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Suffice it to say that no (+/- 1) hamsters were
harmed in the process of fulfilling the terms of
the bet (which, incidentally, was won by I.T.,
much the annoyance of Sturton). |
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[*besides his own, obviously] |
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//Do Hamsters have a Reynold's number?// |
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Probably not, but they probably do have a Cd. |
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//And what is a "mock hamster" anyways// |
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I just referring to mocking in a general and non-specific context |
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//team skydiving activities// |
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I suspect this part would work better with guinea pigs which are, I believe, more sociable than hamsters - albeit noticeably heavier. |
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I am embarrased to say that I do find it rather odd that someone
would keep a stuffed hamster on hand for these occasions. The
thought that you froze it in liquid nitrogen to spare it the stress
of flight testing did not, even just a little teeny bit, cross my
mind. |
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>I do find it rather odd that someone would keep a stuffed hamster on hand |
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Seems eminently sensible to me. You mean, you don't? |
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Unfotunately, I must have used the last one to stuff a rather
large Australian bird. |
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// guinea pigs which are, I believe, more sociable than hamsters // |
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// much the annoyance of Sturton // |
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Which reminds us, please express our thanks to him for the loan of the eyebrow-brace; they're so hard to come by at short notice. Also, if he's going out to the Observatory soon, remind him to return the empty one as soon as possible as there's a deposit on them. A new, full one is in the post. |
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The stain remover worked really well, but we can understand him being cagey about the formula, as it turns out that three of the principal ingredients are listed in a number of chemical weapons treaties. |
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Good luck with the new giraffes. |
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I shall pass all of this information and, incidentally,
Sturton sends his best wishes and commiserations. |
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