h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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Letters of resignation are often the toughest business letters to write. And they're even worse to read, especially if the resignee is a highly-valued employee. The whole process of resigning needs to be made more cheery for all parties involved.
Enter the singing resignations. Call up
the service, and they will clad a singer, of the gender of your choosing, in a costume of your choosing, and send him/her to your boss's office, to put your terms to song.
Apart from the obvious "Take This Job and Shove It" (country-western song), I can't think of any off-the-shelf songs that would be appropriate. Not being much of a lyricist myself, I leave it to my fellow halfbakers to suggest any inspiring lyrics.
Frankly, Mr Shankly
http://www.lyricsca...ths/thequeen_02.htm
"...it pays my way and it corrodes my soul..." [-alx, Jun 11 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
[link]
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Cue barber shop quartet... (quartet-baker?) |
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I'm surprised UB hasn't risen to this challenge - maybe he's not up yet.. |
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This is a lovely idea. In fact, it reminds me of my own resignation-day tradition of arriving at the office in skimpy black bustier, tap pants, and thigh-high stockings, and singing "Mein Herr" (a la Liza Minelli in "Cabaret") to my stunned employer. |
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My favorite lines, and also those that normally get me ejected from the building, are these: |
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Bye-Bye, Mein Lieber Herr;
Farewell, mein Lieber Herr;
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though I used to care,
I need the open air;
You're better off without me,
Mein Herr ...
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Don't dab your eye, mein Herr,
Or wonder why, Mein Herr;
I've always told you I was a rover.
You mustn't knit your brow,
You should have known by now
You'd every cause to doubt me,
Mein Herr ...
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I really hope this idea catches on. I'm sick and tired of being the only one in the office with tap pants. |
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Croissant, though I'd be surprised if anyone can top "Frankly, Mr. Shankly" by The Smiths. |
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Croissant for "Mein Herr" |
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How 'bout that "so long, farewell" bit from "The Sound of Music"...? I guess that only really works if you're taking your entire team with you. |
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Someone get [UnaBubba] warmed up. With any luck I'll need one of these soon. |
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Is it okay if I get a 400 pound dominatrix to sing in my stead? I think I'd be laughing too hard. |
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I love the idea of a team resignation, MrWrong ... and the possibility of singing "So Long, Farewell" would be a nice exit. |
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(Singer 1)
"So long, Enron, I'm leaving you, alas
But not, before, I kick your big white ass"
(chases Kenny Lay down the hall; Singer 2 steps forward) |
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Funny but I already have a song designed for just such circumstances. It's not exactly sophisticated but it articulates a certain, um, *youthful spirit of contrariness*, I think: |
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Would you work with a team leader
With the brains of a bottom-feeder?
I would rather smoke some weed or
Maybe just call in sick and have another day off,
And stay home and jerk off. |
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(I’m sorry but I really -) |
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Don’t give a fuck about teams.
Don’t give a fuck how it seems.
Don’t give a flying fuck
About your lousy stinking work. |
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[chorus:]
So leave me alone.
I’m not answering the phone
With my boner in my hand.
I’m not interested in your issues,
Got a bumper box of tissues,
And a monkey to spank.
Let me wank. (Cause work is shit)
Let me wank. (I’ve had enough of it)
Let me wank. |
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Operational strategies blow.
Delegation is all that you know.
Masturbation is better than this, so
I think I’ll just phone the work and I’ll tell them I’m dead.
And I’ll stay in my bed. |
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Don’t give a fuck about teams.
Don’t give a fuck how it seems.
Don’t give a flying fuck
About your lousy stinking work. |
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So you work in the job above me,
And your life is a misery (so fuck),
And you’re looking for sympathy,
So you tell me your latest trouble every morning at ten.
Well, never again. |
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(I quit my job because I) |
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Don’t give a fuck about you.
Don’t give a fuck what you do.
Don’t give a flying fuck
About your lousy stinking work. |
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Damn. I *can't* work after that.... |
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How wonderful! Thank you, all of you! Especially nice work, Guy Fox.
A little late, though. I handed in the standard, boring letter this morning. Just as I expected, everybody is glum about the whole thing. A song and dance routine would have really helped out (and wasted a bit of time that I have to burn up in this "lame duck" period). |
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Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today
I want to be a part of it - New Work, New Work
These 9 to 5 days, are going away
I'm now the big BOSS at - New Work, New Work
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I want to sit at the head of the table in a meeting,
And find I'm king of the hill - the one they're all greeting.... |
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These cubicle blues, are melting away
I'm gonna make a brand new start of it - at my New Work
If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere
It's up to ME - New Work, New Work
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(with apologies to the Chairman of the Bored...<grin>) |
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<<tap dancing and exiting stage left>> |
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medication kicked in now runf? should that not be woik? |
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(head is clearing up...sneezing is past....throat isn't sore anymore :-) |
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as for the song.....go ahead, hum it and sing it just once....you'll feel better and it will stick in your head for the next 10 hours <evil grin> |
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Almost baked, my brother when it was insisted that he had to write a resignation letter put the words to "I did it my way" in the letter! |
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It's not quite the same, but at work, the women in our division have a tradition where a few of them sing and dance at another females farewell lunch. I've only seen it once, though. |
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They should have welcome song for new higher, may be a company song and position song. |
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Let's not encourage them, now. |
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