Simplified Brexit Solution

Currently the United Kingdom is facing an awful lot of hand- wringing and teeth gnashing about leaving the EU. The amount of fussing would have anyone believe the country is to be physically excised and floated 300 miles further out into the Atlantic. What actually has to happen, is paperwork. While everyone knows where they are with existing paperwork, things get very difficult indeed when the appropriate forms don't currently exist. Panic quickly propagates through any administrative workplace when form uncertainty is identified. This is usually resolved when someone named Geoff, says "wait a minute, can't we just class this as a 4B and run it that way?" a huge sigh of relief follows as the problem is now redirected through a familiar series of forms and sub forms. I believe I have found such a solution for the Brexit conundrum.

Currently the Channel Islands are not a member of the EU, from wikipedia:

"Channel Islanders are British citizens and hence European citizens.[47] As a result, they can travel freely within the EU, and all European citizens can travel to the islands without restrictions. However, the islands do not participate in the freedom of movement of labour, and as a result their citizens are not entitled to work or reside within the EU unless they are directly connected (through birth, or descent from a parent or grandparent) with the United Kingdom. After five years continuous residence in the United Kingdom, islanders are entitled to participate in the freedom of movement of labour or services throughout the EU.[48]"

That seems like the sort of deal that many would consider ideal for post EU Britain.

Britain is designated as:

"Great Britain, also known as Britain, is a large island in the north Atlantic Ocean off the northwest coast of continental Europe."

Another way of looking at Britain would be as the largest channel island, Jersey, Guernsey, Sark and Britain are all nicely nestled in the channel between EU members France and the Republic of Ireland.

So we simply do a bit of re-zoning and naming, Britain can now be "Greater Jersey", Jersey can be renamed "Little Jersey**", Wales could possibly take the title "West Sark" and follow its namesake in banning cars, since cars confuse the Welsh.

We then tell the EU that they'll need to amend their forms a little to include a couple of new places. This could probably be taken care of in a couple of days by a single temp***. Simply amend the forms, print off a load and replace the old ones in the filing cabinet. All the "UK" forms can be shredded. Done.

*this will fit with English naming conventions for villages, Jerseyans will be happy, because the "little" designation normally means its a little posher and more exclusive than the "greater" version, although they acknowledge that they will have to pop over to get the Volvo MOT'd

**This additional Jersey will have a wonderful side effect. Currently, New Jersey is the 3rd best Jersey, after 1. Jersey & 2. A Jersey Cow. The creation of "Great Jersey" will relegate "New Jersey" to 4th position, worse, the prefix "New" will be obsolete and inaccurate, and "Jersey" would have confusing connotations. So they'd have to rename to "Crappy Jersey" or the more accurate "East-coast retail and parking zone #1".

***Temp will need to be proficient in the "Find and replace" feature of MS Word, alternatively, a large government IT project could probably write a macro for GBP 247 million in under 3 years.