Currently the United Kingdom is facing an awful lot of
hand-
wringing and teeth gnashing about leaving the EU. The
amount
of
fussing would have anyone believe the
country is
to
be physically excised and floated 300 miles further out
into the
Atlantic. What actually has to happen, is
paperwork.
While
everyone knows where they are with existing paperwork,
things
get very difficult indeed when the appropriate forms
don't
currently exist. Panic quickly propagates through any
administrative workplace when form uncertainty is
identified.
This is usually resolved when someone named Geoff, says
"wait
a
minute, can't we just class this as a 4B and run it that
way?" a
huge sigh of relief follows as the problem is now
redirected
through a familiar series of forms and sub forms. I
believe I
have
found such a solution for the Brexit conundrum.
Currently the Channel Islands are not a member of the
EU, from
wikipedia:
"Channel Islanders are British citizens and hence
European
citizens.[47] As a result, they can travel freely within the
EU,
and
all European citizens can travel to the islands without
restrictions. However, the islands do not participate in
the
freedom of movement of labour, and as a result their
citizens
are
not entitled to work or reside within the EU unless they
are
directly connected (through birth, or descent from a
parent or
grandparent) with the United Kingdom. After five years
continuous residence in the United Kingdom, islanders
are
entitled
to participate in the freedom of movement of labour or
services
throughout the EU.[48]"
That seems like the sort of deal that many would
consider ideal
for post EU Britain.
Britain is designated as:
"Great Britain, also known as Britain, is a large
island in the north Atlantic Ocean off the northwest
coast of
continental Europe."
Another way of looking at Britain would be as the largest
channel
island, Jersey, Guernsey, Sark and Britain are all nicely
nestled
in
the channel between EU members France and the
Republic of
Ireland.
So we simply do a bit of re-zoning and naming, Britain
can now
be
"Greater Jersey", Jersey can be renamed "Little
Jersey**",
Wales
could possibly take the title "West Sark" and follow its
namesake
in banning cars, since cars confuse the Welsh.
We then tell the EU that they'll need to amend their
forms a
little
to include a couple of new places. This could probably be
taken
care of in a couple of days by a single temp***. Simply
amend
the
forms, print off a load and replace the old ones in the
filing
cabinet. All the "UK" forms can be shredded. Done.
*this will fit with English naming conventions for villages,
Jerseyans will be happy, because the "little" designation
normally
means its a little posher and more exclusive than the
"greater"
version, although they acknowledge that they will have
to pop
over to get the Volvo MOT'd
**This additional Jersey will have a wonderful side
effect.
Currently, New Jersey is the 3rd best Jersey, after 1.
Jersey &
2.
A Jersey Cow. The creation of "Great Jersey" will
relegate "New
Jersey" to 4th position, worse, the prefix "New" will be
obsolete
and inaccurate, and "Jersey" would have confusing
connotations.
So they'd have to rename to "Crappy Jersey" or the more
accurate
"East-coast retail and parking zone #1".
***Temp will need to be proficient in the "Find and
replace"
feature of MS Word, alternatively, a large government IT
project
could probably write a macro for GBP 247 million in
under 3
years.