h a l f b a k e r yWhy on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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One thing most people dont realize is that for the most part, humans are the cause of most other human problems. One case in particular is when groups of people decide to stop and talk right in the middle of a walkway. Or right at the bottom of stairs. Three people manage to divert hundreds of people
from the most efficient path.
I propose that all sidewalks, paths stairs and any other place where large amounts of people walk, have installed a motorized bar that is electrified. The bar would be on a continous loop. It wouldnt move very fast to allow for slower walkers and people with disabilites. What it would do is insure no one group of people is stationary for a long period of time. Those who decide to resist will be triped by the bar and shocked repeatedly.
To coincide with this new sidwalk design there would be spaces for people to stand and talk away from the main flow of traffic.
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Recommended reading if this topic is of general interest:
William H. Whyte, "City: Rediscovering the Center". |
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A survey of city spaces and sidewalks and street life in general, seen from an intelligent and humane architect's perspective. |
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Whyte and his students observe that groups of people in what they call "100% conversations" form particularly at places where they are most in the way, although Whyte is much less upset about it than this idea's author, and understands that the "function" of the sidewalk is not mereley transportation. |
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[Admin: I've moved it from Public: Evil into somewhere with a little less traffic; but I want it to be noted that the author appreciated the general thrust of their invention.] |
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"Get outta the FUCKING way!" |
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(hmm... that felt goooood) |
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Getting out of class today I was at the very bottom of a large lecture. Like usual you stand there for a few moments while the people shuffle out. Today all 500 of us had to drop of a little quiz in designated section folders which were randomly placed around the lecture hall. A few people decided that the folder they wanted to stand and talk around was the one right next to the main door.
I didnt say anything.
Thats why we need the bar. |
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