Show me the way to go home..

This looks like a clip-on necktie (with a possibly a slightly larger knot). There is a stiff rod down the tie, acting like a robotic arm, controlled by the motor in the knot. In one pocket there is a power pack, and the other a GPS. The GPS controls the motor. When you stagger outside at closing time and realise that you can't remember where you are or how to get home you activate the device which springs to life (I haven't quite worked out how you can do this in your disgraceful state). The tie leaps up and points the way home. To an outsider it would look like an invisible hand pulling you home by the tie.