h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Lots of electronic devices have a "Sleep Mode" that they go into after a few minutes of inactivity to save power.
Since they're asleep, you should have to shout "WAKE UP!" loudly (maybe a few times) to wake them up. This would be amusing in office buildings, especially. Or anywhere there are cell
phones, ipods, you name it, on buses, in coffeeshops...
When woken, the screen would gradually flicker on until it was fully awake.
[link]
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<YAWN> .... EH ? What ? Sorry, was there something ? |
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Loud hand clapping should also wake
up the lazy devices... I'd like my
computer to learn how to make the
relaxing sounds of deep breathing
when it's asleep, and cough and snuffle
as it flickers into wakefulness (now
there's a wee idea for someone) + |
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+ oh yes, and opens a huge pair of fluffy eyelashes. |
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+ Or leaps in startlement, glancing back and forth, saying some unintelligible non-sequitur like "My God! What what what what? Did the... shark... find the pencil?" |
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This is how my wife wakes up when you do this... |
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Once woken, get the device to shout "wake up!" at the top of its electronic voice (if it has one). I imagine a chain reaction in large office blocks with a wavefront of wakefulness propagating from the ground floor to the top. |
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WAKE UP! WAAKE UUUP DAMN YOU!
Oh - the power was off. SORRY EVERYONE! SORRY! [+] |
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Use the old standby that kept my cruddy ol' B&W TV tuned for years: a sharp slap. |
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Great humour potential. [+] |
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"Wake up! Wake up!! Come on, you, wake up!!!" |
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"Umm, Joe, the copy machine doesn't have that feature." |
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"Shut up, Fred, or help me wake this da--what? oh..." |
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--This is the guy who laughs evilly at the hand dryer, but it doesn't work either. Half-Bakery-obssesed. |
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If they ever start sleepwalking this could be dangerous. |
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You could automate the process by sampling the doctor from Trainspotting, and her annoying posh "Wake up" that she shouts at the overdosed Renton, and having that played back when you press the on/off button on yr telly remote. |
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Knowing my luck, the answer would be:
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Uh, what...? Just 5 more minutes, OK? |
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Knowing my luck and what usually happens and in this case, a plastic arm would protrude and proceed to slap me about the face. |
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I want the curse version. |
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I'm with [Denholm] and [elhigh] on this. I would think that if these were implemented in an office full of cubicles, one shout would wake up everyone's PC. The poor things would never get to sleep. Who wants a sleep-deprived electronic device? |
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Maybe you slap the monitor to wake it up, and the display shakes side to side (like head shaking), yawns and gives you some random smart remark. Then to put it back to sleep, you slap it again. The monitor goes black and displays "I'm KO'd!" with chirping bird sounds, then fades off... |
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Physically abusing the thing would be much more gratifying than measly verbal abuse. 'Course, the PC police might arrest you for abuse. |
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