Skates on ice have a very low coefficient of friction, this
allows skaters, bobsledders and lugeists... lugers*... luge
artists? to travel very quickly with only slight motivation.
Humans have made progress in this area however. It is
now
widely known that the lowest possible friction occurs
within stacks of new sheet protectors. I have done some
tests and I have concluded that the friction is in fact
negative. No other explanation satisfies, how else could
a
stack of 300 of the little blighters travel about 40 feet
when only dropped from 1 atom high?
Anyhow, you sit on a 5000 high stack, you're given the
lightest shove and you travel 14 miles uphill to win the
gold medal. Lovely.
*that's a type of gun, I think. Possibly as deadly as the
luge.