h a l f b a k e r yBreakfast of runners-up.
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Go big indeed, a swordfish win would mean one less swordfish fighter in the world. |
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Although I guess bullfights are to the death for the spandex guy occasionally. |
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Hmmm, it might not be as difficult as it sounds to wrestle a shark if you're fast enough.
I was showing my daughter a video when she was eight of an alligator unable to close its mouth while tapping it on the nose with a stick. She asked me if the same thing worked for sharks. I spent quite a bit of time over a couple of years trying to find out and it was a non-question. recently, I'd say in the last three or four years or so, there are suddenly many videos of people rubbing the noses of sharks and putting them into a sort of catatonic state where you can balance them in their noses and since sharks need constant movement for their gills to function enough time in this catatonic state should kill the shark. |
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//many videos of people rubbing the noses of sharks and putting them into a sort of catatonic state// |
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Hmm. If a shark was swimming up to me not sure if I could stay chill enough to rub its nose. |
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Like when a bear attacks, the advice is: "Play dead. It'll be good practice for when you're actually dead in about ten seconds." |
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Fuck that. Bears always feint charge before they attack because they can't see worth shit. Same with sharks. Critters don't have doctors. They don't want to fight and skunk or even your cat can make a Grizzly back off. You run at them clapping and shouting and they don't know what to make of it. Works for moose and cougars and every critter I've come across other than a friggin house cat. Swear to God that's the only animal to make me back up so far. |
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As for sharks... well check out some videos. |
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My little eight year old daughter hit the nail right on the head.
I posted it here at the time under the title Shark Riders, which she gave me crap for back then because she didn't think the sharks should be ridden. |
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When she started giving her old man crap for misrepresentation of her intentions at eight years old I was SO proud.
My God it was so cute, and she was SO angry at me. |
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She wouldn't have understood my laughter at the time and holding a straight face while taking my browbeating in contrite silence was one of the harder things I've ever done. |
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Bless her. She is, (in her childhood vocabulary) very stubbory. |
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In my up close and personal experience with sharks, the sharp part is under the pointy part... so a gymnast diver ought to be able to grab the pointy bit and quickly pirouette upwards. Simple. |
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If the shark wins does it get a tuna dinner or just (what's left of) the diver? |
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//so a gymnast diver ought to be able to grab the pointy bit and quickly pirouette upwards. Simple.// |
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Right? A sort of death defying ballet. |
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Just occurred to me, you could have them dress like a bullfighter and have a cape made of fish that you'd wave in front of the shark and pull out of the way like they do in bullfights while the viewers shout "OLE!" |
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