h a l f b a k e r y"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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car alarms are outmoded technology
because everyone has become acclimated
to them. because they have a tendency to
go off in unnecessary conditions, they've
become sort of a boy crying wolf device.
i suggest a line of car alarms that are
designed to frighten off would be car
thieves without
disturbing your
neighbors
at three in the morning. these car alarms
could be chosen to suit the owner of the
car, and could include things like the
driver's seat moving all the way forward
and locking, or the gas tank sealing itself
so that the car won't run. my favorite
would be a smoke machine in the
passenger compartment that fills the
entire cabin with smoke until the proper
key is inserted.
these methods would be reveriable by
someone with a key to the car, and would
be designed to be no more than a minor
inconvenience to the car's owner. for
added effect, things like self-destruct
timers and other similar additions could
be employed.
Only some popping sounds
PSA_3a_20Popcorn_20Security_20Alarm [normzone, Sep 27 2007]
And no sound but the ringing of your cellphone
DDDD_20Auto_20Alarm [normzone, Sep 27 2007]
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Perhaps something along the lines of making the radio play the Backstreet Boys at full volume (with the doors shut and windows up, of couse, so you don't disturb the neighbors too bad and defeat the purpose of the new alarm) until the correct key is inserted. I'm almost certain that any car theif could only take so much Backstreet Boys music before pulling over and giving up. The self destruct timer would be handy, even if it wasn't actually hooked up to any explosives. For some reason, local authorities don't like C4 strapped to the gas tank of a car. |
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i think that the backstreet boys might be
going too far. i mean, eyeeeeesh. |
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when i said self-destruct, i
meant just a red lcd timer with self
destruct written above it. |
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i'm not worried about the radio. if you are,
i suggest a batmanesque metal shield
slides down over it and gets padlocked to
a hardpoint so the cover can't be peeled
off. |
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why'd you wire a bomb to a mini
[bubba]? i admit there's some appeal,
but still. |
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i know what you mean about flour. it
gets in the air and then lights up all at
once. whoosh! |
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you'll notice though, none of my
methods would be likely to hurt anyone.
thief or actual owner. i wouldn't want to
climb into my car and inadvertantly
inflict pain on myself. |
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i know for a fact that i would set off my
own car alarm at least a couple times. |
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baked. I know a guy who finds it boring to normaly live his life, and after making milions in a usual day's work, goes back home and bakes stuff for his protection. the tear-gas alarm for his car and yacht, the disinflating wheel system for his car, the automatic "s.o.s my name is [yacht's name] i belong to [his name] and i am being stolen" hidden radio alarm, the paralising gas alarm for his house are just a few items baked.. |
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Or bees. A fake radio with bees, and if you remove the wrong radio then bees come out and sting you, and only the true owner of the car knows which is the right radio. |
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Now that bees are involved I will vote for this. |
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I'll bun this, but no bees hidden behind the radio. You've just consigned a load of innocent honeymakers to an untimely demise, since there's no food in there, and you've possibly halfbaked the "smell of death car radio" idea... which I will not be posting. |
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Besides, bees can only sting once, and there's that whole allergy thing. Use hornets. More painful, meat tenderizer has no effect, and they can sting again and again and again... They're also longer living, but some way to change them out from time to time may be necessary, and PETA will have a fit. |
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Before we had airbags in cars I was a fan of that device that allowed you to easily remove the steering wheel. |
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maybe in severe attempts of theft the tyres could deflate |
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Thanks [UB]. Add spelling to my "Not my strong point" list. |
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Somewhat irrelevant, but the self destruct timer wired to nothing reminded me of a car I saw in Hot Rod magazine once. It had a red pushbutton switch on the dash labeled "Panic Button." It also led to nothing. |
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I always put pain generators in my car attached to the alarm. These are small shrill sirens that make your ears ring and your head throb. The noise IN the car is hellacious, but drops off fast outside. |
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I like the idea of filling the trunk with big capacitors and frying the b@sterd! |
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I'm curiouis about [sweet]'s mate's //paralising gas alarm for his house // |
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//Perhaps something along the lines of making the radio play the Backstreet Boys at full volume (with the doors shut and windows up, of couse...// Perhaps "Quit Playing Games With My Car"? |
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On a different note, my friend's mother once had (might still have) a Land Rover with a security system called "Maximum Security" or something along those lines. It once malfuncted and locked her in her own car until people from Land Rover came to free her. I can't imagine that's the first time that's ever happened before either; can you say lawsuits? |
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I'd like an extra Xenon headlight pointing straight up which called Batman. |
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