h a l f b a k e r yQuis custodiet the custard?
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We've got one of those clock timers which (whilst we were away on holiday) turns on and off at a set time each day, in a half-arsed attempt to persuade perspective burglars that people are still at home.
It was only today that I realised that having our lamp turn on at 7pm and off at 10pm was a really
bad idea, given that any vaguely alert criminal would recognise the pattern.
Hence my proposal for a semi-random clock timer function which say turns on and off within an hour and half of the set times, and maybe does so for 6 days out of 7.
Light Timer with Random Mode
http://www.security...lighting/92002.html
This is good from the street level, but most police will tell you that leaving your home radio tuned to an all-talk-all-the-time station is an even more effective ruse to ward off the casual burglar. [jurist, Jul 09 2005]
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Annotation:
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Inexpensive light timers with random mode controls are available, though they may not be on your local hardware store shelves. [link] |
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dammit, I should talk to my police more often. Is there a timer which learns how often a given device is normally turned on ? |
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I don't know. Is that important? Do you have uncommon security concerns? |
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Buy two or three separate timers and plug them into various lamps, radios and/or older televisions (B&W is fine; the sound is the same and it will still throw a nicely animated silver glow on the ceiling). The randomness should be unpredictable to all but the most determined watchers. |
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*Newsflash*
"Perspective Burglars" Make off with Appearance-of-Depth of Entire Apartment. |
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Earlier today, police were called to the residence of a Mr Juan D'Turmanut who had reported the loss of all but two dimensions of his entire flat.
"It'sa crazy" He stated, in a stereotypically foreign accent of unknown origin "I-a open mya door, and itsa all flat." |
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"It would appear that as soon as anything enters Mr D'Turmanut's apartment, it somehow looses its ability to appear foreshortened based on the distance from the observer." said coordinator of forensic efforts on the scene, Dr John Dusty. |
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"Yeah, everything just gets kind of weird and freaked out." commented a neighbour. |
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"Ia jus canna live a lika this" continued Mr D'Turmanut "I walka in, and my fridge isa only 3 inches tall - ita used to be-a six-foot-fridge! But it was agains' the far wall. Anda mya bed, itsa some kinda irregular quadrilateral!" |
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Police were not optimistic about recovering D'Turmanut's stolen perspective. |
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"It's just one of those items that's hard to track down. Most perspective is pretty much the same these days. Even if you do find the perpetrators, it's difficult to prove ownership in case of dispute. Sometimes, in a case of fisheye, or Eshcher style perspective loss, it's a bit easier, but in more common or garden perspective theft, the best we can do is go through the motions." said officer Dave Policeman. |
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In the meantime, Mr D'Turmanut hopes to try replacing the missing perspective with a cheap isometric alternative with absolutely no foreshortening qualities at all. |
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In a similar incident, last year, police were able to trace the missing perspectives and return them to the original owner. Contractors, however, misread the installation guide and the resident artist filed a complaint, which was later retracted since he was making a killing at the local gallery. |
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In widespread incidents across the country, people have started "giving a shit" about reality TV, celebrity ephemera and this season's accesorisation do's and don'ts. |
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It is widely thought that many people had either lost, or had neglected their perspectives. But it was only recently that these losses, which nationally, add up to a total of around $10million worth of perspective a month have been linked to a particular kind of house breaking activity. |
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didn't the movie home alone make fun of those timers? but its a grood idea. |
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Churned (and bunned out of joy) for the sake of sharing [zen_tom]'s
anno with the rest of you. Actual, comedy, genius. |
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