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I'll give you a bun if it inventories its contents, displays them on a touchscreen on the side, and will retrieve any item on command. What could be better for dumpster diving!? |
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Dumpstermaton currently contains: |
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<frees 95 cats> they breed quick in this neighbourhood. |
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Dumstermatron currently contains: |
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3 credit card numbers
2 social security numbers |
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I think UB has accidentally invented a custodian for the dumpster, the DumpsterMatron. Would she oversee the dumpster, regulating dumpster-diving protocols? Settle any who-saw-it-first arguments? Instruct visitors in proper dumpster-viewing etiquette? Critique dumpster-diving attire? Administer first aid to injured dumpster-divers?
I can just picture a Hattie Jacques-type woman handing out coffee and doughnuts, leading packs of grizzled dumpster-divers in sing-alongs (and yes, I am trying for a record number of hyphens in one anno, thank you for noticing) under the murky light of a quarter-moon. <The light strains of Roger Miller's "King Of The Road" waft through the stillness of the evening air.> |
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I'd rather see an animatronic dinosaur recycling collection robot. It would stomp down your street with bloodcurdling roars, bending over to snap up bags of bottles and cans left for recycling. You would be able to hear it crunching glass bottles in its scary metal teeth. |
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