Self Kite

As you walk down the street without any friends, you may wish to fly a self kite attached to each hand so that you may swing them around yourself as you walk down the street, alone, to look like you are having a lot of fun.

You may make these adaptive floaty feather aided kites bright colors to catch attention so that everyone will know you are choosing to show off rather than to be brave and just walk up to the hottest chick in the room and do the damned thing for fucks sake instead of flying a damned kite and pretending like you are satisfied being... alone.

Your self kites may have "L"'s on them for loser.

Dont get it stuck in a tree, unless you live in a tree, in which case use the self kites as extended climbing and swinging arms. Just scale up the specs on the kite and it can be made of strong materials and enable the user to do all sorts of things, like fly.