Self-Propelled Grass fueled lawn mower and food source

I’ve tired of filling up my lawn mower with petro, pulling the starter rope and then spend hours pushing the damn thing around my yard as the spinning blades cut the grass into clipping only to rake them up later and put them into the yard trash. It is a waste of my time and money and the only result of these efforts is to watch the grass grow to be mowed again in a few days or weeks depending upon the weather.

I decided to buy a goat and metal line. The goat is self- propelled. It does not need to be pushed around the yard. It walks all by itself on four very sturdy legs towards anything the goat thinks it could eat. The goat doesn’t like petro. In fact, petro would not be good for it and would probably sicken the goat. Water is a suitable liquid in the event that the goat becomes dry.

Now, what do I now do to mow my lawn? I tie the goat with the metal line to a metal stake near the center of the lawn to be mowed. It is important that the line and stake be metal since the goat is a fantastic eating machine. It could eat through fibrous or plastic line or stake quickly and digest it along with any grass to be mowed. When I return home after hours of play and relaxation with mates at the seashore or park or pub, I move the stake to another part of the lawn that needs mowing.

A goat is better for the environment than a mechanical petro-consuming lawn mower. The goat does not increase the carbon load in the atmosphere adding to the global warming and other fanciful-end-of-the-world-as-we- know-it problems that we all fear. Instead, a goat converts lawn clippings into environmentally beneficial soil accretions for a greener and more luscious lawn with no more carbon emissions than any other animal. The accretions already in the form of pellets fertilize my well manicured lawn making it the envy of the neighborhood.

I haven’t tried this yet, but I am told that once the goat gets big and fat, it could be BBQed into a tasty meal. But I won’t do this until the goat has kids for next year’s mowing season. Why didn’t our parents know about goats?

el dueno