Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Self-Cleaning Drunkard Couch

 Couch Cleans Iself
  (+6, -5)
(+6, -5) 		  [vote for,
against]

Ever had a wicked pisser keg party at your house? Has your wicked pisser of a keg party yeilded a wicked piss-drunk guy puking, urinating, or otherwise staining your couch cushions?

Fido ever pinch one on it while you werent looking?

"Gross!" You say. Gross, indeed. You dont want to clean that up. Your gorgeous, floral-printed sofa has just been defamed by some miscreant couch-puker (or dog). Everybody has already gone home. You've got plenty of other things to do before your parents/roommates/homeowners get back and notice the mess.

What do you do? Flip the cushions. Yes, flip the cushions. With the Self-Cleaning Drunkard Couch, the underside of the cushion is gently scrubbed, steam-cleaned, disinfected, and deodorized (with a lovely Pine or Fresh Mountain scent, your choice). Everytime you flip, you're presented with a lovely, fresh-smelling couch cushion. Perfect addition to any frat house.

NOTE: The fact that this couch self-cleans does not make it an acceptable urinal or latrine. If possible, please take your business to the appropriate receptacle.

—dbrooks, Jul 02 2002

[link]






       And this works... how?
—phoenix, Jul 03 2002
   

       How about only inviting self-cleaning drunkards to your parties?
—DrCurry, Jul 03 2002
   

       Does it have to be fragranced? I'm sick to death of artificial air fresheners that go stale after a week.
—NickTheGreat, Jul 03 2002
   

       I'm in favour of a couch that cleans its own cushions (being a parent of two wee children, I know all about couch stains, mostly juice). I can see it working in tandem with a vibrating seat. You sit down and relax while your cushion vibrates beneath you. As it vibrates it either a) shakes and vacuums the underside, or b) actually shampoos and vacuums the underside, although I'm hesitant to add any liquid to the equation. You could also add in a shot of Febreeze(TM) or something similar.
—Matty, Jul 03 2002
   
      
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