Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Screenclean Flamethrower

 To Hell with you, Lint!
  (+11, -1)(+11, -1)
(+11, -1) 		  [vote for,
against]

Screens get dusty. Scientific analysis has shown that this dust is organic: cat dander, lint from the neighbor's dryer, bug feces, lawn clippings. You can laboriously brush it off with a toothbrush, only to have it fall into your house. You can vacuum it, occasionally ramming the attachment through the screen. None of these screen cleaning procedures is fun.

Until now! The Screenclean Flamethrower makes a large, low temperature flame cloud with aeresolized 70% rubbing alcohol and a pilot flame. "Dust" your screen with the power of flame and send that lint and hair back to the carbon from whence it came. If you keep curtains clear, most wood and paint will be able to resist a few doses of fire - but not the lint. Now your kids will be begging to clean the screens!

Order now and receive a 5 gallon supply of scented 70% alcohol - available in the great aromas of strawberry, dill or mince!

—bungston, Aug 15 2005

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       Good for removing unwanted facial hair, too. FOOMF - there go the eyebrows!
—DrCurry, Aug 15 2005
   

       And nasty tongue hair too!
—DesertFox, Aug 15 2005
   

       Make sure you don't have plastic screens first. [+]
—oxen crossing, Aug 15 2005
   

       I'm not keen on your grabber line, but the idea's not bad. (+). Hey, Oxen.
—lintkeeper2, Aug 15 2005
   

       A good way to get the teenage boy to finally pitch in on housechores.
—sophocles, Aug 15 2005
   

       Hey, what?
—oxen crossing, Aug 15 2005
   

       It says something about the times that I assumed this was about computer screens--even after I read it all the way through. I was squinting at my computer screen and muttering, but I twigged after reading the annotations. Window screens! [+]
—baconbrain, Aug 16 2005
   

       That was just a nod in your general direction, [oxen]. I saw your name, laughed at the thought of "Tie me to a Christian", now deleted, thought I'd say hey.
—lintkeeper2, Aug 16 2005
   

       OK, then. Hey. The lack of [] and the comma had me wondering.   

       Back on the subject, most new screens around here (West Coast, USA), are actually plastic. Won't you even have to be careful with the aluminum ones as well? What's the melting point anyway, 1200 F? I mean, depending on the nature of your flame, with which I am not too familiar.
—oxen crossing, Aug 16 2005
   

       Croissant for the mince aroma.
—calum, Aug 16 2005
   

       The idea of cruising through suburbia while bursts of flame shoot through the windows is pretty...interesting. Get the neighborhood to clean their windows all at the same time, and you could see your neighborhood from space.   

       Guess you'd have to up your homeowners insurance to cover that :)
—timpestuous, Aug 19 2005
   


 

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