h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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Based on what your mom ate while you were gestating, a
real
guess as to what you were in previous lives.
Have your mom fill out a form, send me, oh, say, a
hundred
bucks, and I'll let you know what life forms the matter
that
became you inhabited before you became a human.
It'll be a
mixture of stuff unless, for instance, your mom
only ate pickles.
In
which case you were a pickle.
Sorry, it states right here, see, no reincarnation.
https://en.wikipedi..._Bureau_Order_No._5
Sorry about your loss. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 30 2016]
A replacement for the grim reaper?
http://thumb9.shutt...rtoon-345877502.jpg
Should grim reaper be capitalized. [doctorremulac3, Jul 01 2016]
Dish of the Day
https://en.wikipedi...ers#Dish_of_the_Day
Ameglian Major Cow [8th of 7, Jul 02 2016]
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Annotation:
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How can this be? China has decreed otherwise. [link] |
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It... it just can not be. |
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// your mom only ate pickles // |
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That explains Hillary Clinton... |
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I was once a bit of fertilizer. And I will be again. Good
times, those. |
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<exits whistling 'Startdust'> |
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I have been seamlessly reincarnated as myself
hundreds of times. Wow! It just happened again!
And you know what, I can accurately remember what
happened to me in previous lives such as, say, last
Monday. It's uncanny. |
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The corollary of "you are what you eat" is "you will be what eats you". |
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I don't know enough French to know what form of "bon appétit" you
would use when speaking directly to the entrée. |
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That's right. If I rub my crystal balls I can see what the
future holds for your next life. |
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You're some kind of weird fungus, then you're a bunch of
worms. |
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Unless you get buried at sea. Then you're a bunch of fish. |
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I know some people who've gotten a jump start on being
a
weird fungus in their current life. |
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Do you think the grim reaper should be replaced with a
cartoonish looking worm licking his lips holding a knife
and fork while wearing a bib? It's probably more
appropriate. |
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// French ... you would use when speaking directly to the entrée. // |
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Apparently they speak fluent English <link>. |
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Trump = 55% bat guano, 35% cactus, 15% brick dust, 4% hogweed sap, 1% sardine scales, 0.01% intelligent protein |
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He always gives more than 100%. |
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