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Schlosstein
German engineered security for your pilsner | |
Given the awesome tradition of Teutonic words having more letters than most people's full names, I am sorry that I couldn't be more creative with that bit.
Whenever attending the Oktoberfest piss up, I always bring the biggest stein I can find - half a gallon. The bugger of it is not the heft or
the extra seat it takes. Rather, my mates consistently bring their standard issue steins at one third the size of mine. This means that as they drain their drops, they start wanting to bum off me as if I was a petrol pump. I can't leave the mug alone for the loo lest they drain it too. Now, it's not that I don't want to be a kindly sort, I'd just rather have it on my own terms.
So I figured the best way to fix the situation was to install an integrated combo lock. The lock would be on the handle and thumb controlled. The handle itself would be a German maiden wearing her Dirndl. Actually, there would be several different choices of Dirndl, in a sort of mix and match pattern. There would be three or four options each of legs, dress, bodice, and head. Sort the pieces to your predetermined code and the lid will open. Shut the lid and spin the handle 'round to keep out flies and other thirsty buggers.
Hidden extra feature: if you're too drunk to remember your combo, it'll cut you off.
May also be installed with an anti-theft alarm. Should the lid be locked and the stein then moved, 5 seconds will elapse before an ear-splitting yodel will be heard from the base. Or maybe the sound of a Nazi soldier screaming, "Halten Sie!" Your choice.
(Basic idea credit to my mate who told me he had one. He lied)
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This quote taken from your idea [21Q] "Note: After further searching the HB, I see this is possibly redundant with "lockable bottle" but there's quite a difference in the mechanism used, so I think it still stands on its own." |
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Here, the mechanism used is the variation of the clothing displayed on the Octoberfrau located on the handle of your stein. Since we're talking about a kind of Teutonically themed cross between a barrel-type combination-lock and Picture Consequences - are these not sufficiently different to the mechanism used to your prior art? |
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For the idea, I like it - although for the opposite reasons to those stated - the last time I went to "The Bavarian Beerhouse" the joke among my companions was the insinuation of a Frankfurter into someone's stein without them noticing, the comedy payoff being them discovering said wurst sliding into their nose during a naive act of swiggage. As the evening wore on, and my companions started to flag, their reluctance to be seen to leave any of their drinks unquaffed, drove them to attempt to revieve themselves of their burden by emptying their remaining suds into my stein. So [+] for allowing me the opportunity to ensure my drink unsullied by contaminants. |
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I was thinking you could contaminate your beer by bathing your body parts in it, but some of your mates might not much mind because of the love they feel and their state of inebriety. I would think there might be a limited number of such close friends. I propose therefore that you provision these close friends with tankards as large as your own. OK, maybe 10% smaller, out of principle. |
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