h a l f b a k e r yFree set of rusty screwdrivers if you order now.
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Where I come from, bad workers are
referred to as "cowboys", as in "cowboy
builders." They arrive on the job late,
never have the right tools with them, eat
greasy gunge food, leave a mess, charge
you a fortune for work that has a habit of
falling apart just after the guarantee runs
out....
and once they have your money,
they never answer the phone. Know the
feeling?
What is required are a set of tools
appropriate to the needs of the cowboy
builder, so I have designed a short range
of simple equipment that they might be
expected to bring with them on their
next job.
The most basic of these is the Smith and
Tenon Saw, which I have illustrated for
your pleasure and edification.
More images of future ideas will follow,
one way or another.....
Smith & Tenon
https://sodabred.tu...estions-later-its-a
from the land of sodabred [xenzag, May 31 2006, last modified May 18 2018]
Gödel
http://www.miskatonic.org/godel.html
incompleteness theorem [xenzag, Jun 07 2006]
[link]
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What website? All I see is the one drawing. |
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"With the Smith & Tenon you can cut it twice and it's still too short!" |
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+ I don't like guns, but I do like saws, so if the cowboy must have this to work, it's OK. |
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What's with this guy [phlish] calling the *shots*? |
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It may not be an advert for a website, but it is a play on words, not an idea. I'm fishboning. |
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Very nice illustration! Less good wordplay, though. |
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It's fuck all to do with a play on words -
apart from fact that all ideas are a "play on
words", but that's why it's explained via an
illustration. |
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/offers [xenzag] $19.95 after being suckered into blatantly commercial single page website blatantly advertising blatant guntool thing./ |
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/wonders if [xenzag] will say "Wait, there's more!", because [bungston] likes more/ |
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/gently points out that the long grass is full of ticks, and now, so is [xenzag]/ |
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+ From me. It's not an advertisment, and it's not a play on words - it's an idea for a novelty sarcastic saw that couldn't be properly explained without an (very well crafted, by the way) illustration. |
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(The pedant in me is wondering if the "an" in the above sentence should be "a". Damned brackets - always muddying the waters of punctuation...) |
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yes, and what [lostdog] said....but leave me out of the pedant stuff. |
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//It's fuck all to do with a play on words // |
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Oh, sorry. When you made up cowboyish tools for "cowboy" workers I got confused. Then I thought that the "Smith & Tenon" gun/saw name was a reference to _Smith_and_Wesson_ guns, mixed with "tenon", which is something a carpenter could make with a saw. Plus, the title is kind of like "Shoot First & Ask Questions Later", at least to me. Maybe it's my malaria again. |
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My girlfriend's daughter likes the illustration, too. |
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I'm taking off my fishbone in hopes we can get some more explanation of //all ideas are a "play on words"// |
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Lostdog, the rule I follow is:
If the following word *sounds* like it begins with a vowel, then I use "an". So "an illustration" is OK, but "an (very well crafted, by the way) illustration" sounds rank, since you might have just also written something like "an large illustration". |
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By the way, "an hotel" really grates my ears, unless it is spoken by a Cockney, who would say "an'otel". |
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No more saw points...give the cowboy his bun. |
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baconbrain. I refer you to this useful
and concise Wikepedia definition of
Inferential Role Semantics : |
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"Inferential role semantics is an
approach to the theory of meaning
heavily influenced by Ludwig
Wittgenstein's later philosophy in that it
identifies meaning with use. Some
versions focus on the representation's
role in the mind of the agent while
others acknowledge external
factors." |
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If you wish to enquire further into the
relationship between words/meaning/
language/symbols then I suggest you
read both
Karl Popper and Ludwig Wittgenstein. |
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For different reasons I also recommend
Gödel on the topic of uncertainty. |
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Very final fantasy (see link). If you were indeed one of those cowboy builders (and proud of it), that Smith & Tenon pic would be a great logo. |
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I'll change my vote if you substitute half-ass for cowboy. |
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Cockney? I had a hell of a time w/ that.
um.. right (I understood about 1 of 3 words & we speak the same frickin' language!!!) |
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Guess what? Don't learn to understand Cockney. Every person you'll ever meet for the rest of your life (discluding your own family) will think it's a great game to guess where you're from. I think the accent's viral. |
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See updated illustration on tumblr - one of my earliest postings here.... |
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I dunno what a cowboy builder would do with a gun, except perhaps
to threaten a granny to get her to hand over her life savings in
exchange for a couple of hastily fitted tiles. |
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[+1] for the principle, though: //What is required are a set of tools
appropriate to the needs of the cowboy builder// made me laugh
about as hard as the halfbakery ever has. |
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So, a few quick thoughts: |
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Expanded Polystyrene Hard Hat. Won't protect you from anything,
but it's cheap, light and disposable, and makes you look important.
As an added bonus, it increases your chances of clonking your
head on a low doorframe, possibly prompting some sympathy and a
cup of tea from the little old dear you're trying to rip off. |
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500W Diesel Noise and Fume Generator. Set it up in the driveway
and start it up; run a bit of orange nylon rope from it up to the work
area. Cheaper and safer than a normal generator due to the lack of
any awkward electrics, but again, the mark won't notice
this. The "Deluxe" model can be programmed to sputter to a halt
after a set number of hours, giving you a pre-arranged excuse to
drive off for more fuel. |
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Matryoshka Paint Tins. A set of empty paint tins, complete with
dribbles down the side, that nest perfectly inside each other so as
to take up minimal space in the shed; however when unpacked and
spread about in the back of your van, can easily make you look far
more professional than you really are. |
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Brick-coloured Crack Filler Spray. Accidentally overloaded a
structural wall and cracked it away from the main body of the
building? No worries! Just fill the crack with this spray, and the
husband won't notice for at least a few days - by which time you'll
have safely gone out of business, cancelled your phone and credit
cards, sold your van etc. |
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These are all worthy additions for the cowboy builder. |
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