h a l f b a k e r yI think, therefore I am thinking.
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Hungry patrons enter this odd restaurant and are seated in
front of a large clear, bullet-proof screen where the food is
prepared before them.
Diners choose a delicious sandwich from the menu and
their weapon of choice via an array of coloured and
flashing buttons at their table.
Once
the order is taken, the food is cooked and prepared
and placed at one end of the 'kitchen' area inside another
bullet proof chamber.
A siren is sounded with appropriate flashing lights, and a
small door opens above your sandwich. A man's hand
appears and fires into the chamber at close range - the
bullet passing through your sandwich and into a specially
designed table that absorbs the impact, leaving your food
sitting quite neatly on top.
A waitress (with kevlar apron) retrieves your sandwich and
serves it to you at your table. A photograph is taken of
you with your sandwich - resplendent with bullet hole
directly through bread/salami/cheese/lettuce etc so that
you may always remember your violent and touching lunch
time experience.
Burroughs Shotgun Painting
http://images.googl...S:official%26sa%3DN
Here's the extreme version (creator sadly no longer available due to mortal termination) [xenzag, Jan 08 2009]
Potato bar, sometimes as violent.
Mangled_20Potato_20Bar
[daseva, Jan 12 2009]
Fark: West Midlands cafe wins "Britain's best bacon sandwich" prize.
http://forums.fark....s.pl?IDLink=4218155
In other news, there is a man in England who's job was to travel the country eating bacon [Dub, Feb 18 2009]
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Annotation:
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I'd come in just to order sandwiches with fillings that I *hated* - particularly the ones with fillings that I love, ruined by horrific sauces and mayonnaise.
[Die B*****d!] |
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In your dreams a disembodied hand emerges from the stricken sandwich and returns fire... at you! It must have been the cheese. |
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//a more subtle pillow over the sandwich// |
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How do you determine when a sandwich has stopped struggling? |
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I bet that some smart alec will order a bagel... |
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So, maybe someone should make *target* bread... |
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Surely you wouldn't *ever* want to harm a really nice bacon sandwich. |
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with tomato and a bit of cheese on a decent toasted bagel, buttered not margarined and a ... stupid diet. |
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Can you order out? I'd like to put bulletholes in a few of Subway's offerings (they're the only place besides the crappy cafeteria within a long walk of here and I'm really tired of them) |
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for an additional fee, a shirtless man with a dark
hood will slice your sandwich in half via guillotine -
each half landing in a little basket either side of
the chopping block. delicious! |
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"Concentrated efforts" can only do so much for a burger that costs 15 cents to make. |
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I'll have mine submerged and torpedoed please. |
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Brings a whole new meaning to "Torpedo Sandwich". |
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..."Would you like it Grilled?"
"No. Toast it. Toast it Real Good!!" |
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with your choice of ketchup or mustard flavoured
gun powder |
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I don't see why this wouldn't appeal to people who like sandwiches as well? |
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There are plenty of people who like to shoot the things they enjoy eating. |
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My thoughts exactly, [mylodon]. I've been sitting here thinking I could probably get a cherry tomato into a paint ball gun... |
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Death to potato side dishes, as well. <linky> |
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could a professional dagger thrower just quarter my sandwich from across the room? that'd be cool too. |
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[+] The only good sandwich is a dead sandwich. |
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[+] A sandwich is just a sandwich. But a DeadManwhich is more like a meal... |
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