h a l f b a k e r yYou gonna finish that?
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I like my bees stabbed right through the heart- it's the Samurai way. |
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We would buy this. A Tanto bulges the pockets too much. An existing SAK isn't sharp enough for those essential silk-handkerchief-cutting demonstrations. |
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It would need a special secondary blade for de-b*llocking bluebottles. |
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Samauri Army knife? Comes with chopsticks, hari-kari blade.... |
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Phoenix: ..... bonsai trimmer..... rice bowl...... geisha polisher ..... tea ceremony timer ...... haiku measurer .... |
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The trouble is that each one would have to be made by a little old man hammering out a tiny billet of steel over and over again by the light of the spring moon shining through the cherry blossom and then lain on a bed of purest silk in a tiny exquisitely-carved wooden box, who'd then go off into the mountains and cry his eyes out and die of a broken heart because he'd never, never, ever make anything so beautiful or perfect ever again. Pretty soon, you'd run out of little wizened old craftsmen, and the product would never make the mass market. |
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On the plus side, however, there might be quite a few pretty, recently orphaned daughters in need of comfort and consolation. |
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It buys Geisha girls eastern european passports. |
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If someone would like to contribute to the 'Send StarChaser to Japan' research fund, I will go polish as many geishas as I can find in whatever way may present itself, and report back. |
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What would a Polish geisha act like, I wonder? |
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Let's hope that Mandolin she's holding is not a polish salami slicer.... |
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