Safety dance music player

Condoms really need a good safe place to keep them. They'll get all mashed up and damaged in your pockets. They'll get all hot and crackly in the glove compartment, and in your dresser drawer, or your medicine cabinet... people you don't want finding them will likely spot them at a bad time.

SOOO... in an effort to keep condoms fresher, reduce the spread of sexually transmitted infections, and make a quick buck on the natural human desire to try and breed a lot more often than we succeed at doing so.

Virtucom is rolling out the Safety Dance Music Player. It's a handy-dandy MP3 player, with a little case inside it for holding your, party hats, cling wrap, jimmies, lambskins, third-hand-gloves... you know what I'm talking about, right? Now you can just carry your music around, and be ready to pinch and roll one on when you feel the need to dance horizontally. It stays in your pocket, so it's out of the hot car. It stays in a hard case so the packaging doesn't fold all up and rip. It's disguised as a working MP3 player, so most people won't be looking at it wondering if you're hiding your condoms there...