h a l f b a k e r yQuis custodiet the custard?
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I'm in a foul kind of mood right now... as has been addressed in
another post. Anyway, I looked at my hanging wall clock across the
room a few minutes ago... and boy, did it look smug, just staring at
me
and grinning maniacally. "Bastard!" I thought to myself. Where does
that clock get off
feeling
so damned superior? WHERE!?! I really just
wanted to throw something at it to wipe that stupid grin off its face.
And then it occurred to me that the most arrogant of all clocks is the
alarm variety! They decide when you wake up, they decide if you'll
make it to work on time, and they decide if you'll get canned for not
making it on time. Those arrogant jerks! I think it's high time we put
those bastard clocks in their place.
Anyway, on to the idea...this is a wall-mounted alarm clock with a
protective steel cage that you mount on the far wall from where you
sleep. Sticking out of the cage to one side is a large metal disc with a
bullseye painted on it, and the arrangement looks very similar to a
dunking booth at a carnival. Behind the whole setup is a 6ft×4ft
wooden backboard with a thick cowhide cover and rubber pads on
the
back, and a long, narrow catch basket on the bottom. Next to your
bed
is a bucket of baseballs. Are you getting it yet? It don't shut up 'til ya
hit it with a baseball. When you hit the target, the clock yelps in pain,
the LCD display goes blank, aparrently dead, and is silent... until the
predetermined snooze interval has passed. To shut it off and reset
it,
you have to slap the thinly rubberized metal panel (mounted at a
right angle to the wall) on the
other side. Hard. Does it hurt? Maybe. Is it satisfying? Oh yeah.
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Annotation:
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If you believe inanimate objects are picking on you - GET HELP!
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If you install the device as described, the contents of your bedroom will soon bear the scars of ricocheting baseballs. Of course, half the contents of your bedroom will be piled in one corner to make room for the 6' x 4' alarm clock.
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A much more practical (and thoroughly baked) version of this idea is the throwable alarm. This is a small electronic alarm clock mounted in your favourite kind of ball. When hit hard enough or thrown, it shuts off the alarm. |
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That would mean having to find the clock after snoozing it to
shut it off. Thanks, but not thanks. And a baseball isn't going to
ricochet off this board, not with the wood, leather cover and
rubber pads to absorb the impact. |
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Given that the primary purpose of an alarm clock is to initiate the process of dragging one's arse out of bed and into action, retrieving the alarm clock after snoozing it can only be a benefit.
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Why do you think a baseball won't ricochet off wood, leather or rubber (all elastic materials with relatively low damping coeffecient)? |
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Leather actually has a very good damping ability, hence the
reason it was often worn as padding under the steel plate armor
worn by medieval soldiers, and isn't very elastic at all. Pull on it,
it doesn't stretch. Wood has good shock-absorption ability, too.
The rubber pads on the back are to help protect the wall behind
it. Leather on wood would make a great backstop. |
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Elastic dosen't mean stretchy. Nice idea, though, except for the fact that stuff will get broken. Also, I'm not up for big challenges in the morning. Lastly, I thought the words "shut the fuck up" would be used somewhere in the description.
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This should be called something like Throw Baseballs to Make it Stop Alarm Clock. |
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I'm assuming that phrase would probably accompany the
slapping when trying to turn it off early in the morning. |
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" Leather actually has a very good damping ability, hence the reason it was often worn as padding under the steel plate armor worn by medieval soldiers "
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The reason that leather was used was because nothing superior had been invented yet.
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But don't let me harsh your mellow ;-) |
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And yet leather is still one of the most highly regarded protective
materials for motorcyclists to wear. Sure, there are other
materials that are supposedly as effective, but their biggest
selling point is that they're lighter and more breathable, which is
why only street racers (and posers) tend to wear them. Those
properties aren't required in this application. Leather would do
fine. |
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What the shit kind of argument is that they wear leather because it looks cool. I saw a buddy of mine's leather coat ripped to shreds with road rash all over his body he still rides he still wears leather shit argument u have dosnt desrv prpr pnctatn u ssuck |
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I kind of like the image of this one. + |
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