In the spirit of the unsuccessful Reagan era idea of surrounding the earth with space based laser platforms, the investment group behind such great ideas as "Low Budget Spacecraft", "LPelletG Stove", and "Tremorless Tools", now bring you - (fanfare flourishes)
The Sodapop Defense Initiative.
Remember
the private group that launched their own satellite system in an attempt to take over the cellphone world? We were able to acquire their assets for pennies.
We are now orbiting a halo of remote control soft drink dispensers, which have been hardened to withstand the rigors of space and fitted with communications technology.
Have no fear, command and control security has been addressed by Halfbakery grade consultants.
At a moments notice, SDI can deliver a volley of highly agitated soft drink containers to targets around the world.
We pride ourselves on our munitions having a short half-life, and limited environmental effect. Collateral damage is minimal, and the economics of reloading is based upon sales at the local megamarket.