Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Rube Goldberg Suicide Machine

for those origenal yet very depressed persons...
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

First you light a candle. The lit candle burns and hot wax falls and collects in a little car. The car, when reaching a high enough mass, falls throw the paper it is on onto a track. it goes down the track where it runs into a cup of water. The cup collapses and the water falls into a bowl where it raises the water level enough to raises the water weight in the bowl enough for the bowl to tip the seasaw it is on. When the seasaw tips it knocks over a balanced block of wood. The wood falls onto the luanch button of a small model rocket. The rocket ignites and pulls the stopper of a bowling ball in a ramp. The bowling ball rolls down the ramp and bumps a knife on a pivot. The knife on a pivot cuts a string which releases a catapult. The catapult throws a small brick at the chair on which the person (remember the person who is trying to kill themself?) is standing with a noose around their neck. The brick hits the chair in the leg the chair collapses and the person has effectively hung himself.

feel free to fishbone - i expect no biscuitry

feel free to copy/improvise on idea in annotations or new post

Space-Pope, Jan 03 2004

MoveOn.org's Bush ad http://www.rnc.org/moveon2.mov
Quicktime movie thing. [waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Another Bush Ad http://www.liberalo.../bushin41point2.htm
Less harsh perhaps? [waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Rube Goldberg http://www.rube-goldberg.com/
Rube Goldberg was an author and cartoonist whose cartoons were, as he said, symbol of man's capacity for exerting maximum effort to accomplish minimal results. [bristolz, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

[link]






       How could I not :)
theircompetitor, Jan 03 2004
  

       i really dont know ;)
Space-Pope, Jan 03 2004
  

       Or, you could just drive a motorcycle for a few years. Sooner or later you are gonna 'git it'.
Klaatu, Jan 03 2004
  

       or you could play russian rullette with a semi-automatic pistol...
Space-Pope, Jan 03 2004
  

       I have had a couple of friends kill them elfs in quite simple ways. Sleeping tablets for one and a long drop hanging which broke their neck for the other. Why go to all the trouble? What happens if the chair leg fails to break, the catapult isn't aimed right, the knife is blunt and so on.   

       Why are you putting up ideas like this that you want us to vote against?
sufc, Jan 03 2004
  

       guys -- it was simply a reaction to those critiquing the Monoxide Sensor on Garage Doors. Let's not get worked up
theircompetitor, Jan 03 2004
  

       //guys -- it was simply a reaction // how do you know this?
po, Jan 04 2004
  

       I'm not omnipresent, dudes -- read the Monoxide entry to the bottom and chill out
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       for me suicide is a scary thing so i make it less scary by making it humorous. its a simple self-defence mechanism. ask any psychiatrist.
Space-Pope, Jan 04 2004
  

       then all you need to do is overcome the monoxide detector that opens the garage
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       The Suicide Machines rock!
Letsbuildafort, Jan 04 2004
  

       Notice that the //suicide// catagory has all fishbones...
spacecadet, Jan 04 2004
  

       cause the experts don't get to vote?
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       No, 'cause there were people here that we all knew and loved that went that way.
RayfordSteele, Jan 04 2004
  

       well, I'm sorry to hear that.   

       There were 3000 people in the building I worked in that went in a slightly different way. One of them was a firefighter that saved us in the first WTC bombing. Another one was a guy that stood with a bullhorn and was sending everyone out as the building was already shuddering.   

       Saying I support President Bush's policies, which so far as I'm aware of is NOT yet the equivalent of natziizm, has gotten me the blacklisting effect on this board.   

       Go figure.
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       It didn't get you blacklisted. Far as I know, I'm the only person who mentioned it. So that's just me. Don't sweat it . No one else gives a fuck what I think, neither should you.   

       Funny you should say that Bush's policies are not quite equivalent to Naziism. See link.
waugsqueke, Jan 04 2004
  

       waugsqueke, I don't think there' any point in us discussing politics, and the movie proves it.   

       Perhaps not intentially, you manage to upset me at every turn, given that I'm Jewish.   

       You take a joke that is certainly meant to be innocent and compare me to a wife beater. My humor may be coarser then yours, to be sure -- but please spare me your moralizing.   

       Tsuka -- it's only paranoia if I'm wrong, I know. When you explain why you posted "He's omnipresent" above even though I explicitly posted the name of the related idea, I'll be convinced I'm wrong.
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       // you manage to upset me at every turn, //   

       Yeah, I get that a lot too. You brought up the Nazis, though.
waugsqueke, Jan 04 2004
  

       Laugh's Last: I'm sure you do not intend this, but let me repeat again, since we're all being so sensitive:   

       It is, and has ever been, incredibly insulting to Jews to have various minor villains, and much less the serving President of the United States to be compared to a person who systematically sought the elimination of Jews. Hitler is incomparable in the history of man, and may he remain so.   

       You may like or dislike someone's policies, and you may certainly challenge these policies in court if you feel they cross the line -- this has been done in the States since the Alien & Sedition Act. As you may know, recently the court ruled against the Admin on rights certain prisoners have. So the pendulum swings and our Constitution acts to protect us as best it can.
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       waugsqueke: I brought up the Nazis to illustrate that I stated a legitimate political opinion and not one that deserves shunning or censure, while you compare the person I voted for to Hitler.
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       ok, but am I commenting on your ideas or you commenting on mine?
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       Tsuka -- you see, I'm wrong. You're right
theircompetitor, Jan 04 2004
  

       blissmiss:   

       theicompetitor shrugged
theircompetitor, Jan 05 2004
  

       waugs: see Public Option Voting.   

       As you may have noted in multiple posts, I've yet to critisize a specific politician, even though I believe I could have lost my life due in a significant part to the policies of one.   

       It doesn't to me that HalfBakery is the proper forum, though of course being a veteran perhaps you're better equipped to judge.   

       The irony of the kind of material you show is that despite the great laughs enjoyed by the inside crowd, it serves best to galvanize the opposition.
theircompetitor, Jan 09 2004
  

       Suicide, is bad, but this makes DIEING FUN!   

       Look, There are a few things I want to say, and coming from a guy who suggested "Bacon Soap" alot of you won't listen. THis category was to //make it less scary by making it humorous//. It's like Mel Brooks doing "The Producers" which is about the play "Springtime For Hitler". He is a Jew who makes fun at Naziism to make it less scary. We make fun of suicide to make it less scary. YES, suicide is a bad thing but this stuff isn't serious. It's a Rube Goldberg machine for christ's sake! This isn't a category to be taken serious. There are som many easy ways to commit suicide it's not funny. But this is so cmplex that it is funny. Ok, that's it. Go back to quibbleing.   

       Who or what is Rube Goldberg?
sufc, Feb 29 2004
  

       [sufc] I added a link for you regarding Rube Goldberg. His cartoons are akin to W. Heath Robinson's work (and vice versa).
bristolz, Feb 29 2004
  

       I wondered if anyone else still had Mousetrap!
unclepete, Mar 01 2004
  

       That's a fun game but sometimes it wouldn't work and the amy guy would almst hit you in the head, and you thought the game was trying to kill you so you never pled it again. Or at least thts what happened to me.   

       I liked it.
python, Mar 04 2004
  

       I did, for a time.   

       that game was a suicide machine, you could never tell if it was gonna work or what.   

       See, the thing about Mouse Trap is that you gotta remember to reset the hand that pushes the large ball into the bathtub atop the Thingamujig. Many people overlook this detail, and thus, the rodent roams free.
WordUp, Jun 09 2004
  

       Nazism, not Naziism
harderthanjesus, Jun 09 2004
  

       [+] laughing so hard, so glad I found this.
xandram, Jun 13 2013
  

       Reminds me of the one about the man who decided to kill himself. Wanting to do a thorough job, he climbed a tree overhanging the river, tied a noose to a branch and put it around his neck, doused himself with petrol, lit a match, and jumped off. Unfortunately, the rope burned through, and he fell into the water, which then put out the fire. He returned home, and told his wife why he was in such a dreadful state. "That's terrible!" she said.   

       "Still,", he said, "it could have been worse. Lucky I can swim, or I might have drowned!".
spidermother, Jun 14 2013
  

       //I have had a couple of friends kill them elfs in quite simple ways. Sleeping tablets for one and a long drop hanging which broke their neck for the other. Why go to all the trouble? What happens if the chair leg fails to break, the catapult isn't aimed right, the knife is blunt and so on.//   

       I don't know, [sufc]. I rather like the idea of my friends possibly surviving...
fishboner, Jun 14 2013
  

       Part of the appeal of Russian roulette is that with a well balanced, well oiled revolver the bullet is much less likely to end up at the top where it will be fired. The cartridge will slow moving up and speed up moving down due to the weight of the bullet.

For a more fair version load one bullet into the firing chamber of six identical guns, shuffle them about, and pick one at random.
Voice, Jun 15 2013
  
      
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