h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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Hajj is the annual pilgrimage that Muslims undertake to
Mecca. (see link)
At the centre of a large space is the Kaaba ("cube")
around which thousands of pilgrims walk respectfully in a
counter-clockwise direction.
Obviously this takes up quite a bit of time and only so
many can share the
amazing experience due to the
duration and dynamics of the moving mass of people.
To speed up the whole event, and allow an even greater
number to participate, I propose motorising the central
Kaaba, so that it gently turns in a clockwise direction.
Hajj
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj
[xenzag, Oct 09 2010]
the cube
http://www.itv.com/entertainment/thecube/
[po, Oct 09 2010]
Kissing the Black Stone
http://muslimmatter...k-stone-every-time/
Interesting article on just how hard it is to kiss: competition, shoving; I doubt any woman can do it nowadays... [Wily Peyote, Oct 11 2010]
[link]
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perhaps involve phillip schofield and a large cash prize? |
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Rotating the Kabba might strike too many concerned parties
as impious, but building a huge turntable *around* it seems
almost feasible. Evidently the Saudis take Hajj-crowd-
management very seriously, and are keen to prevent
episodes like the one in 1990. And, of course, they can
afford big construction projects. |
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Xenzag, I take back all those things I said about you to the
press. This is a brilliant idea. [+] |
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Brilliant, indeed. Here's one rather large rotating bun. [+] |
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I have no idea how this idea would be accepted by
Muslims, but it sounds great to me. |
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(Will someone take a picture of me with this group of
Master HalfBakers who posted above?!? Whoo hoo!)
[+] |
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In a few thousand years, when there are gobs - (the technical term) - more people on every Hajj, something like this might just need to be done |
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Since the goal is to go by "The Black Stone" (meteorite in SE corner) 7 times, and, like Muhammed, be able to kiss it if possible - (most Haji's / Haja's are only able to point at it) - at the very least there might be a conveyor belt right next to the Kaaba (since that seems to be the most dangerous place). [+] |
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I think the Hajj should rotate amongst different cities. It would be a good use for all of those former Olympic venues and give security services a nice workout. |
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Might a number of layers (say 7) of rotating platforms add to the worshipping capacity in a suitably pious manner? |
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Call it The 7 Levels Of Hajj. |
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Would it not be more effective to put the thing into orbit? |
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<Contemplates "Wall of Death" Hajj posting> |
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<Contemplates possible fatwah> |
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<Decides to do it anyway and blame it on [21Quest]> |
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// Would it not be more effective to put the thing into orbit? // |
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Do you mean with an nuclear blast? Er... |
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A spiral moving walkway that goes around 7 times, passes within kissing range on the last pass and then drops down (turns into an escalator?) and passes under the rest of the conveyor sections to pass people back out? |
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One word: Moebius strip conveyer belt. |
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so confused. would you mind hyphenating that for
me so I can count the words? |
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In German, it probably *is* one word. |
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One-word:-moebius -strip-conveyer-belt |
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a spiral, painted on the ground, which turns seven times around the hajj, terminating at the black stone; when the stone is kissed a trap door opens, depositing the supplicant in the gift shop in the exit tunnel where you can buy kabba hajj keychains, 'Koran for Dummies' books and Burqa Barbies. |
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And small cubes of black stone, coated with the saliva of 1.4 million Arabs. |
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Actually, it would be fascinating to take swabs from the
surface of the Cube and do a metagenomics project. There'd
be all sorts there. |
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Actually, what would happen if some kabbalist-saboteur wore
ricin-flavoured lipstick (and was very careful not to lick their
lips)? |
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//<Contemplates possible fatwah>// |
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//wore ricin-flavoured lipstick // |
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They'd go purple in the face and stop kicking after a while, as the chemical penetrated the skin on their lips and began to poison them. |
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Angelina Jolie might be safe, with her inner tube, rubber lips. Same applies to Mick Jagger. |
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Bad news. Just checked, and ricin is a non-starter as an oral
poison - you'd need loads. |
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Probably not going to do much if you smeared a bit on a block of stone that the faithful feel the need to spit upon, then? |
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Have we done Hoverburkas already? |
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How about rotate the entire Kaaba complex; stone, buildings, everything? If you randomly choose the speed and direction each day, it would be great fun to watch as the haji lose track of how many times they've circumnavigated, especially if the central stone rotated independently of the rest.
Am I moving faster, is time passing slower, or is the guy next to me walking backwards? |
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I am not a Muslim either, but I wonder if this is a good idea. The cube might be required to be oriented in a particular order to the poles/stars/moon, etc. |
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Well I can answer that question. It's clearly not a "good" idea. It's a Halfbaked idea, which is why it's here. When I have a "good" idea, I register them for patents and copyright, or I turn then into products. |
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The four corners of the Kaaba point roughly to the cardinal points of the compass. The Eastern corner has the famous black stone (possibly a meteorite, about 30cm in diameter) embedded in it. |
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//The Eastern corner has the famous black stone (possibly a
meteorite, about 30cm in diameter) embedded in it.// |
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Hold on a sec. You mean this cubic building was supposedly
struck by a meteorite, which just "stuck"? |
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If so, the alleged meteorite ought to be removed for proper
investigation. Fascinating stuff. |
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No. It was one of three holy Kaaba sites, that predate Islam. The Red and White Kaaba sites were destroyed. The black one was appropriated by Mohammed, who had all of the 360 or so idols that were associated with the black Kaaba destroyed. They apparently included likenesses of Jesus and Mary, though the three Kaaba also predated Christianity, I think. |
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The black stone is the holy icon or relic, which has been incorporated into a built structure that was supposedly fashioned from the timbers of a Greek shipwreck. |
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It's all pretty fuzzy, as is most of the story in major religions. The myth has it that Abraham designed the black Kaaba building. |
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Sounds like Star Trek to me. Ah well. |
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//It's a Halfbaked idea, which is why it's here. When I have a "good" idea, I register them for patents and copyright, or I turn then into products.// |
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I knew I was doing it wrong... |
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