Rotate-a-Plate

Picture this scenario: you've loaded your plate with food again, you hog, but in your haste to feed your face, you accidentally positioned it with the parsnips closest to your mouth. What a hassle to have to manually rotate your food-laden plate to get to the chipped beef. The solution? Why, Rotate-a-Plate, of course! This ingenious device sits inconspicuously under your plate and at the touch of a button, rotates your plate for you. Can't decide what to consume first? No problem. Rotate-a-Plate comes with a fingertip electrode that scans your blood for missing nutrients. Biofeedback is then provided automatically to the rotater, so you get exactly what you need without even knowing you needed it. It's a lot like TV! It can also take out the garbage and read your mind. You're craving creamed onions right now, aren't you? Admit it! Rotate-a-Plate sees all, knows all. Muwha ha ha ha ha!!! Rotate-a-Plate. The ultimate in culinary laziness.