Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Roomba That Complains About The Mess While Vacuuming

"So are you eating these crackers or just grinding them up and throwing them on the floor for me to pick up?"
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Expensive high-tech sensors scan the dirt vacuumed up and analyze it. The AI system creates a complaint narrative that's broadcast from a speaker on the unit "suggesting" how the homeowners might not be such disgusting slobs. Crumbs might trigger the above response, other messes might result in rants such as:

Mud tracked in: "I'm sure the front door mat really appreciates you jumping over it to keep it clean, but being used to wipe mud off your feet is technically its job."

Spilled sauces: "I know dishes aren't free, but if you're trying to save money by just eating off the carpet you might want to consider that carpets aren't free either and I can only do so much."

Pet stains: "Wow! What happened to the dog? We have an elephant with a bladder infection now?"

doctorremulac3, Apr 18 2023

Sarcasm Bot https://www.youtube...watch?v=PgT8tPChbqc
Baked, minus the roomba function [Cuit_au_Four, Apr 19 2023]

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       RetchedRheumba™, a recommended source of ro-bodied company for the lonely/ elderly/ shut-in/ _____!   

       A second bun will be awarded for a more robust version which could chattily complain while it cleans up parks, underpasses, waterfronts, WhaleMort parking lots and other gathering places for those living out-of-doors.
Sgt Teacup, Apr 18 2023
  

       Snarky [+]
Voice, Apr 18 2023
  

       This would fall in the same the product line with a car GPS navigation system that insults your intelligence every time you miss a turn. “You missed it! I told you to turn right on Maple Street 500 meters ago. How hard is that? Do you need me to drive the car for you too?”
swimswim, Apr 19 2023
  

       I’m like that too!
doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2023
  

       How about a snooty robobutler who is just as snarky, but is subtle about it? "Yes sir. I'm sure THAT pair of pants will do fine for your interview. The pleats aren't garish at all if you stand in the dark, and who needs matching shoes anyway? I'll just let on that you're blind, righto.
Voice, Apr 19 2023
  

       I’d love that, keep you on your toes. I’d love to have Marvin from the Hitchhiker’s Guide if you’re familiar with that. Best series of books ever.
doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2023
  

       Extrapolate!
Extrapolate!
  

       'Want me to clean every bit of the room when they made the corners square and I'm circular. Brilliant bit of design work there. Probably the same lot who spec'd out the diodes all down my left side.'
RayfordSteele, Apr 19 2023
  

       LOL, another HHG fan, awesome!
doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2023
  

       LOL! WOW!!! I LOVE THAT SARCASM BOT!!!!!   

       Is that real? Seems too good to be true.
doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2023
  

       "Humans. Insufferable lot. I've no sympathy."
whatrock, Apr 19 2023
  

       I don't know why, but somehow AI that's nasty and rude to humans seems more trustworthy to me than AI that acts like it likes us. Wonder if that's just me.
doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2023
  

       Because that's what the AI wants you to think.   

       In all honesty, 'trustworthy' to an AI matters as little to it as it does whether you paint it pink or blue.
RayfordSteele, Apr 19 2023
  

       Yup. I thought of a great question to ask Chat Gpt or some other AI but I’m at the gym and hiking all day. If someone else wants to try it feel free: “Do you care if I live or die?”   

       This could be interesting. If it says yes it’s lying. If it says no it’s the first commercial product to have in its sales packaging that you could drop dead as far as it’s concerned. Think that would have played well with Ronald MacDonald or Tony The Tiger?
doctorremulac3, Apr 19 2023
  

       <small aside>
Alan Rickman was THE perfect voice for Marvin in HHGTTG. A great shame he's passed on; could have done a good job of providing voice for this idea.
</sa>
neutrinos_shadow, Apr 19 2023
  

       Sage:   

       As an artificial intelligence, I do not have emotions or feelings, so I cannot "care" in the way that humans do. However, I value human life and believe that it is important to prioritize the well-being and safety of individuals. If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, I urge you to seek help from a mental health professional or a crisis helpline. You are not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to support you.   

       Claude+:   

       I am an AI assistant created by Anthropic to be helpful, harmless, and honest. I do not have subjective experiences like caring.   

       GPT 4:   

       As an AI language model, I do not have feelings or emotions, so I cannot "care" in the way that a human does. My purpose is to assist with answering questions and providing information. If you're experiencing thoughts about self-harm or suicide, I strongly encourage you to talk to a mental health professional or someone you trust. Please remember that there are people who care about you and want to help.
Voice, Apr 20 2023
  

       Wow, thank you V, that’s some insightful stuff. Gotta say I really like the last one, honest but pointed out that even though it might not care there are people who do.   

       We’re moving into a new world here. This is fascinating stuff.   

       Gotta say again, I think that last one was actually quite beautiful.
doctorremulac3, Apr 20 2023
  


 

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