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Sidewalk weeds. They are pesky and destructive. One can spray them with poison, only to condemn the poor frogs downstream to be born without genitals. One can stoop and pull them out one by one, sweating in the hot sun. If only there were an easier way.
Now there is! BUNGCO is proud to introduce
the Rolling Fresnel Sidewalk Weeder. Don your Brightvision Goggles (also by BUNGCO) and slowly roll the weeder before you. Set in a sturdy frame, the RFSW places a point of white hot concentrated sun right where you want it. Weeds explode into steam and ash, and the crack is sterilized of all life by the actinic fire. Lump of dog dung in the way? Go ahead, let Old Sol take care of that for you. Dead rat? Park the RFSW over it for a while and come back when the rat is gone.
Coming soon: the Robotic Rolling Fresnel Sidewalk Weeder. Powered by a solar panel, this little fellow trundles out on hot sunny afternoons, playing the Fresnel lens along a predetermined path of cracks. You can watch from the comfort of your porch. Here comes the Sun!
a wee fire
https://www.reddit....2v/just_a_wee_fire/
parental advisory: (1) strong language; (2) scotland [calum, May 24 2024]
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Annotation:
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I don't know about trimming the grass, but I've got some ant nests I need to deal with... |
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Yes yes yes! And it can incinerate the foot-crippling plastic toys the neighbor kiddies leave on the sidewalk, as well. |
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(BTW, if there are any of you wannabe juvenile delinquents who have not tried a full-page size fresnel magnifier in the sunshine, go do it. It's just one of those experiences you gotta have before the world ends next month.) |
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yes, oh yes - verging on genius of an idea - particularly
like the park and boil rat bit + |
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I wonder, if the focus could be made wide, if I could use it to burn the black accumulation from the sidewalk each year. |
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These should be made standard attachments for baby strollers/pushchairs. You then just need to steer appropriately to position the lens so it burns the weeds. Meanwhile your baby will become habituated to the smell of charred weeds and, when they reach adulthood, will seek out that Proustian scent to take them back to their idyllic childhood and away from the cares and worries of their miserable lives. Thus, they themselves will be driven to get such a weed-burning device, and so the cycle continues with the baton of sidewalk weed-maintenance being passed to a new generation. |
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Too many babies in the U.S. already grow up to the scent of burning grass. |
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//standard attachments for baby strollers/pushchairs//
see link |
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