Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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RollerRowing
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The Rollerrowing set consists of a pair of wheels which strap to the pelvic nethers, a single wheel for each heel (think spurs), a knee-mountable crossbar sporting oarlocks, and a pair of pole-oars. All, except the oars, can be collapsed and stored in a small bag or purse.

Row, row, row your butt,
Gently down the street;
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Rolling on your seat.

—FlyingToaster, Jan 13 2015

//Could you rework this to have a handle on the end of a cable like a rowing machine, and have that coupled to the wheels??// http://rowingbike.free.fr/
[pocmloc, Jan 14 2015]

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       Maybe in the Netherlands, in the future, with advanced bearings.
—wjt, Jan 13 2015
   

       I"m thinking that unless the oars have some way to grab onto the road, this won't work so well.
—MechE, Jan 13 2015
   

       So, fit rubber pads to the ends of the oars, to grab the road.
—pocmloc, Jan 13 2015
   

       Punting through the park, anyone?
—wjt, Jan 13 2015
   

       Seems like you'd need a wide road with few other pedestrians. Could you rework this to have a handle on the end of a cable like a rowing machine, and have that coupled to the wheels??   

       Nah... Your original version would look so much more interesting [+]. Just yell "jump" whenever you pass someone too close.
—scad mientist, Jan 13 2015
   

       I keep rereading this expecting some sort of a wing...   

       //Could you rework this to have a handle on the end of a cable like a rowing machine, and have that coupled to the wheels??// This is well baked. Though it is a bit weird that they all seem engineered so the rower faces the direction of travel.
—pocmloc, Jan 14 2015
   

       //wing// Be thankful. I could have had a bunch of them describing various orbital paths, suspended from an articulating rotating mechanism...   

       a rollerrowingorrery.   

       Anyways, it isn't an attempt at a rowing-motion powered bicycle: the frame is the human body and the oars are real (ie: rubber-tipped poles).   

       It would look very much like somebody rowing down the street, on their arse facing backwards, without a boat.
—FlyingToaster, Jan 14 2015
   
      
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