RollaSheet

Mrs Ivan (the sequel) takes great care of herself, the routine includes the consumption of several gallons of industrial strength body lotion per week. This is not a problem in itself but it does mean that our bed linen always looks more like the Turin Shroud than the crispy white sheets I favour. This transition from pristine and inviting to mechanics hand wipe repellence takes about half an hour after retiring. You just can't change your sheets every day, and the whole process of stripping and remaking, washing, drying and ironing things as big as sheets is a bore.

The Rollasheet would take all the hard work out of the task, consisting of a hundred yards or so of egyptian cotton, (or flannelette for big girls) rolled onto a spindle attached to the side of the bed. The free end would be passed across the bed and attached to a corresponding empty spindle the other side.
When you have sullied your linen to an unacceptable state you merely press a button to advance the roll one bed width.
Once the whole roll has collected on the "dirty" spindle it is collected and laundered for you by the rollasheet company, a fresh roll being left in its place.
A similiar stacked arrangement can be provided if you like a top sheet.
An Alarm function available on the luxury model will automatically roll you out of bed at the chosen time.

An additional advantage for those of us subjected to the predations of bedhogs is that, once you have been forced into a precariously balanced position on the edge of the mattress, a nudge of the advance button returns the interloper to their rightful side of the bed.