h a l f b a k e r yBaker Street Irregulars
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There exist a certain category of people, most of whom are probably Texans driving pickup trucks, who find great sport in intentionally hitting small roadside creatures.
It is our contention that the world would be better off without these people.
Thus, the proposed course of action: Landmines,
designed to look like animals, placed along the shoulders of highways.
To minimize collateral damage, these landmines will be designed to be easily recognizable as decoys to pedestrians, but convincingly like turtles, dogs, cats, snakes, armadillos, opossums, rabbits, and raccoons from the cab of a pickup truck speeding along the highway.
Flattened Fauna
http://www.abc.net....oments/gmis9748.htm
Experiments with fake snakes and turtles on the roadside. To quote: "6% of drivers had a mean streak in them. Shepherd said "a truck driver even crossed the center lane, went into the opposite lane of traffic and drove onto the shoulder of the road to run over a 'fake) 'turtle'." [AntiQuark, Oct 17 2004]
In cognito
http://www2.gol.com...ynerhm/roadkill.jpg
[k_sra, Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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No. Children sometimes walk there. You don't want landmines peppering the road, trust me. Someone may swerve to avoid a live creature and hit your stupid form of punishment. Exploding fishy fish. |
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Think about the poor, unsuspecting scavenger. |
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Child safety is a concern, but the risk can be mitigated if the mines are set to detonate only with an appropriate amount of force, and placed in areas where children are unlikely to tread. |
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If you were to jump up and down on a modern anti-tank mine, it wouldn't go off. You would really have to try hard to detonate it. |
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And what of the driver swerving to avoid a living creature or fallen object in the road? |
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Not to mention the infrastructural expenses paid by taxpayers. |
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It's a question of probability. I posit that the likelihood of these mimics being hit accidentally (whether by swerving to avoid something, or just dozing off at the wheel) is much, much less than that of intentional collision. |
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So for every 1000 evil drivers culled out of the gene pool, you might get 1 instance of collateral damage. |
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Sure, there's an infrastructure cost to taxpayers. But there's also a benefit to society of removing the sorts of people who would commit such a cruel act (who are also probably predisposed to commit other cruel acts, although no statistics exist to back this up.) |
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I say anyone who kills an innocent raccoon should be punished. Let's create *moving* landmines shaped like raccoons, that roam around on highways. [/wry] |
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much as i hate the idea of killing animals on the road there have been occasions such as a rabbit in the road where it came down to hit it or do damage tomy car and myself, how much thought goes into that decision? slightly off topic possibly, however anyone who swerves to kill the animal is sick |
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The sentiment is amusing - how about decoys filled with brightly colored epoxy enamel paint ? |
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Well, that certainly would be more practical. Preferably a bright vermillion. |
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Just use automatic cameras, and fine them. |
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The paint idea is much better than landmines, but I still hate doing permanent damage. How about some liquid or squishy solid that smells absolutely awful, but that can be washed off with a normal car wash. |
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Making an arbitrary addition to the stereotype already given, such people in large trucks who purposely hit animals are the type that like to keep their trucks plastered in mud as a sort of badge of honor. When they hit the Turtlepot they will be punished by being compelled to wash their truck. Others that wash their vehicle regularly anyway will not be greatly inconvenienced if they accidently hit the turtlepot. |
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My first thought for the substance was runny cow manure, but that smell might not be very offensive to this stereotyped group. Would essense of skunk work, or would that be too hard to wash off? |
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//liquid or squishy solid that smells absolutely awful//
like perhaps the inside of a rabbit |
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