h a l f b a k e r yIt's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.
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These Snickers wrappers look just like the normal candy bar, but are made from rip-stop nylon to discourage overeating.
Sales aren't predicted to be very high.
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Annotation:
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//pocket knives// These would be served as snacks on
airplanes. Reserved for use on flights which had pushed back
from the gate, but been kept waiting on the tarmac for
hours. |
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[RayfordSteele] I mean this in the nicest possible way, but
you're not cut out for marketing. Sales need not be low just
because the product has negative utility. You only need to
sell it to someone other than the end-user. |
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//Sales aren't predicted to be very high.// |
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That does seem like a safe bet. Perhaps if they put a
prize (say, a pocket knife) inside, sales would pick
up. |
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Only wait...this idea was to discourage overeating.
It's a real paradox, I think. I want to suggest putting a
bad tasting candy bar inside, but this is already
heading in so much the wrong direction. |
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////pocket knives// These would be served as snacks on airplanes.// Bad idea - not very edible, and can be used for nefarious purposes if not eaten. |
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I was just about to point out that very thing, [poc]. |
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Since [Rayford] is not helping (or hurting) his cause
by not speaking up, perhaps we might try to get to
the bottom of this idea. |
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The category is Diet:Evil. The minute I get started
on where the hell *that* should be taking us, I get a
bit bogged down, which, come to think of it, is
how [RS] sounds in his description. |
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Do we all have a problem with this? (Not me.) It
might seem a bit...autocratic of us to produce
something that penalizes all candy eaters, when
[Rayford] might be the only with an issue. Just
saying. I don't need my Snickers any harder to get
into. |
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This reminds me of the woman who kept her candy bars in the freezer so she'd have to wait for them to thaw before she could eat one. She broke a tooth. |
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I could gnaw enough holes in ripstop nylon to suck out the chocolatey goodness and taste the nougatty sweetness and ... excuse me, I have to go get something out of my freezer. |
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//I could gnaw enough holes in ripstop nylon ...// |
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So, for [baconbrain] we might need some Kevlar
wrapping, or mesh steel. Wait! We'll put candy inside
this big safe in a shark tank...We'll win this War on
Overeating yet! |
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These would probably appeal to the macho, survivalist types who get their jollies from overcoming adversity and "accidentally" breaking things that are meant to survive robust treatment. |
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The bar could still be consumed by holding in the mouth until the chocolate liquified, and started to permeate through the weave. Chocolate melts below the body temperature of humans. |
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//Chocolate melts below the body temperature
of humans.// |
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[8th]Listen to me! Listen to me! Snap out of it!! |
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Did you forget the safe in the COLD water with the
sharks? |
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By the way, isn't this already done on Chupa-Chups? They're bloody near impossible to get into, without some sort of tools. |
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/////pocket knives// These would be served as snacks on
airplanes.// Bad idea// |
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1) All art aspires to the condition of Muzak
2) Godwin's law
3) As we approach the heat death of the
Universe, all HB ideas become the same idea, namely
"Deliberately Misunderstand the Last Person." |
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1) All humor aspires to the condition of the HB |
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2) Jutta's law (or Somebody's Law) |
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3) As we approach the heat death of the Universe, all
HB ideas become the same idea, namely "Deliberately
Misunderstand the Last Person." |
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//sp. ////// // I die. In response to my carelessness,
[pocmloc] realizes the quantum
nit: the smallest possible point on which to engage in nit-
picking*. The Universe implodes. All die. Oh,
the embarassment. |
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*That's particle physics. In string theory, it would be
the quantum hair, than which no thinner can be split. |
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Glad to be of service, [MP], in hastening the heat death of the Universe. Regarding this idea, I would have thought that the weak point was the seal at the ends. I always prefer, rather than shearing the end seal longitudinally (as instructed to often on the packaging), to pinch and pull perpendicular to the sealed end, so (attempting to) separate the sealed surfaces. It seems to me that the seal of the rip-stop nylon would either be gentle, in which case it would separate, or harsh, in which case there is a higher probability of tearing along the edge of the seal. |
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To be honest, the only inspiration for this idea was a particularly stubborn Reese's wrapper, which I then exploited for irony's sake and spiced up a little with some vague excuse for its purpose. Sortof like what they do in marketing. |
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//Sort of like what they do in marketing.// |
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"Sort of" is the phrase you need to operate on a bit,
[RS]. On the other hand, my favorite HB ideas, by
far, are the ones that get a series of annos like the
ones here. |
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I've been withholding my bun till just this moment.
[+] |
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// the quantum nit: the smallest possible point on which to engage in nit- picking // |
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Sortofsortofsortofsortof
sortofofsortofsortof
sortofsortofsortofsortof
sortofsortofsortof
kindasorta. |
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Someone's gotta give the pe(n)dants something to do. |
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