h a l f b a k e r y"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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We're all familiar now with the concept of the telephone 'ring'. From bells, through buzzers and polyphonic ringtones, to stereo mp3 recordings of the final desperate yelps of our drowning pets - the evolution is plain to see.
Sadly, all this technology needs to be switched off whenever one is in
a 'meeting' or at the Opera - and it is not uncommon for one to forget to switch it all back on again afterwards resulting in lost calls entailing inevitable social ostracism .
Enter the Ringsmoke concept where, upon receipt of an incoming call, your phone emits a steady stream of thick white smoke until such time as you take the call, or it goes to answerphone.
Quarter Past Lemon
Quarter_20Past_20Lemon
by k_sra, late of this parish. [calum, Nov 04 2008]
send-a-smell by [xenzag] +
send-a-smell
[xandram, Nov 04 2008]
Magic Smoke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_smoke
Usually, it's blue... [csea, Nov 04 2008]
These might do the trick
http://www.smokemac...moke-grenades.shtml
As used in the desktop vatican. [DenholmRicshaw, Nov 04 2008]
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Annotation:
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Wouldn't the thick cloud of smoke filling up the opera house auditorium block the audience's view of the action? |
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That depends on your seat - those in the boxes should be fine - but in case of potential embarrassment, I suppose the smoke level could be scaled from "whisp" through to "belching" by means of a lever. |
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Oh, and I just thought; By some ingenious method, new smoke tones could be 'downloaded' to help personalise your smoke with different colours, and even smells. |
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How would I differentiate my phone from a dwarf having a crafty cigarette under my seat? |
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Set your dwarf to vibrate. |
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You haven't explained how the *smoke* would be made... |
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A subchairian dwarf might suggest an incoming call, but those in the know will detect the whiff of smoke, and determine whether it's coming out of their pockets, or not, before answering the call. Personalised smoke colours and smells might also assist in positive identification. Accidental phone answerage should thus be kept to a minimum, thank goodness. We all know how silly one looks when we go to answer our phone and it turns out that it was actually someone else's that was ringing! |
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The smoke might be made using some kind of integral smoke generation module. Or dry ice could be sublimated - something along those lines. |
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//We all know how silly one looks when we go to answer our phone and it turns out that it was actually someone else's that was ringing!// - not if you're concealed in a thick cloud of smoke. |
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Scents are a good option and could, in the style of k_sra's wristwatch, be used as reminders. |
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Good point UB, on discovering that your phone is smoking in a public space, it might become customary to announce in a loud voice "Don't Panic! I have an Incoming Call!" so as to defuse such situations. |
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Good thing there is a cell phone pocket sewn into my smoking jacket. hyuk hyuk hyuk. |
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//Set your dwarf to vibrate// |
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How has this not been marked for tag-line? |
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//You haven't explained how the *smoke* would be made...//
Why not just have the phone catch fire? That way you get a temperature-based cue that you have a call as well as a visual one. Simply extinguish your phone, then answer |
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technology just in time for the next pope. |
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did anyone mention smoke rings? |
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//Personalised smoke colours and smells might also assist in positive identification.// |
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Traditionally, electronics contain blue smoke, released upon electrical failure. [link] |
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Opera-etiquette dictates that one should set one's
Ringsmoke cellphone on "wet blanket" and dose their
smoking subchairian dwarf until after the fat lady sings. |
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// did anyone mention smoke rings? // |
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No, and you wll be condemned to Hell for all eternity for that anno .... |
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oh dear - bad as that was it? |
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No, I'm glad it was you po - and congratulations [wagster] your Holiness! |
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[csea] I have a monitor somewhere that let the magic smoke out, but which still manages to work somehow. |
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I would wear a bluetooth enabled glasses/goggles which
has a small LED to let me know of a call. It could
blink every 5 seconds to let me know. |
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The problem I find is you wouldn't be alarmed if the
phone is actually burning becasue of a short cirquit. |
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// bluetooth enabled glasses/goggles // |
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