h a l f b a k e r yOn the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.
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I don't believe it will increase distance or accuracy in terms of cork trajectory - since the cork already sits at the top of the bottle anyway and doesn't get enough time during a pop for the rifling to impart any spin. |
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However, a rifled champagne bottle might create a vortexular swirling action in the pouring of the product, both improving speed, and accuracy of delivery. |
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Lay the bottle on two parallel pencils on a table or floor, when the cork pops the reaction will thrust the bottle forward on its rollers, you now have a rifled champagne bottle cannon. |
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I had rifled champagne once. We nicked a bottle from a case by the gondola to Trockener Steg in Zermatt. |
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Champagne corks, in my experience, go for the eyes. |
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This could be made much more dangerous if you incorporated a lawn dart into the cork. |
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I think a limiting factor may be the poor ballistic design of the cork itself. |
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Maybe you could make the cork into a pre-split sabot around a smaller, denser projectile portion (I dunno what would be appropriate - perhaps a miniature champagne bottle?) you might get better performance than a thrown cotton ball. |
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(Oh, here's the rest of that other croissant.) |
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It just seems that way. I distinctly heard it speak a moment ago. |
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this annotation seems dumb |
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You must be right, I can't hear a thing. |
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Re: concerns about the cork being in the bottle for too short of a time for the rifling to work, may I point out that cork, being soft, may use much more extreme rifling than conventional bullets. I envisage some fairly substantial ridges, so that the cork practically has to be screwed out of the bottle. Not too steep of an angle though, or of course the carbonation won't be able to force the cork out at all. |
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//so that the cork practically has to be screwed out of the bottle// Funny, that's how they told me to remove a champagne cork in waiter school. Clamp your hand over the cork and the neck, and twist. There should be no noise, no foam, and no flying cork. No fun, either, but that may be why I'm not a waiter anymore. |
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//There should be no noise, no foam, and no flying cork.// |
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Or as it was explained to me in a bad French accent, "It should make the whisper of a virgin, not the fart of a whore!" |
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//the cork already sits at the top of the bottle
anyway and doesn't get enough time during a pop for
the rifling to impart any spin.// |
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Not so. Whatever velocity the cork has when it
leaves the bottle, it has acquired it during its 3cm
journey through the neck. Thus, rifling will impart a
spin consummate with its forward speed. |
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>Not so. Whatever velocity the cork has when it leaves the bottle, it has acquired it during its 3cm journey through the neck. Thus, rifling will impart a spin consummate with its forward speed. |
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I thought you were going to say commensurate with its forward speed. It's a much funner sentence as you have written it, and I think it makes the point even stronger, in a sense. |
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That's the one. Commensurate. The champagne
distracted me. |
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