h a l f b a k e r yContrary to popular belief
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Today I was going around my university and the rain came. It started with a few droplets but the torrential downpour soon began. My clothing would have avoided the flood conditions if my chair had a retractable umbrella that could be readied at a button press. All it would need is a pneumatic actuator
or some electronic motor. The umbrella itself would be inside some kind of sheath. The umbrella flaps would be held close with springs. The springs would automatically open the umbrella.
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You could purchase preloaded sets of inflatable umbrellas that your chair helium tank would inflate on command, then jettison them when the weather cleared. |
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I know, certainly no less complex than the original idea, I was just trying to help out with a few less moving parts. |
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The problems with the inflatable umbrellas jettisoning would be the litter of the plastic or rubber. As well as requiring the space for a heavy tank and the inflation/launch device. Buying refills/ammo for the umbrella projectiles wouldn't be as economically sound as a reusable device. As for the moving parts, pushing the umbrella up through the shaft or sheath need only require a piston with the springs taking care of the top of the umbrella. |
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Lester had been having a very good day, indeed. While on his way to work that morning, the bus had actually waited for him at the stop. At work, he had found a $5 bill by the elevator. His boss was away at a meeting all day so he was able to finish his work faster than usual. |
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Now he was heading for home, a spring in his step and a smile on his face. As he exited the steel and glass structure that imprisoned him every day, he noticed the dark, foreboding clouds above. |
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"Rain clouds," he thought, "and I've gone and left my umbrella upstairs." |
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Not to worry. There was a bus shelter in front of the building and if he was quick, he could stay fairly dry along the walk home from his stop by darting under shop awnings and bushy trees. |
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As the first droplets of rain began to splash on his shoulders, Lester saw him. He had seen him before, this man in the wheelchair, since he also worked in the building. Lester started over towards the man to see if he could lend a hand, maybe to steer the man and his chair out of the approaching squall. As he leaned over the back of the chair to speak to the man, there was a loud "WHOOSH!" The man had activated the switch for his new Pneumatic Umbrella Deployer, rapidly launching the tip of his large black umbrella into the middle of Lester's chin, knocking him unconscious. |
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A small crowd gathered, umbrellas in hand, staring down at Lester as he lay prone upon the dampening sidewalk. The torrential rain was soaking into his cheap suit, creating tiny rivulets of blue dye moving out in all directions like a virus seeking a host. The bus pulled up so everyone, including the man in the wheelchair, folded up their umbrella and got on board. The thick, soupy fog that had enveloped Lester's brain had barely begun to lift as the bus pulled away. |
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That by far was the most hilarious annotation I have had the pleasure to encounter from HB. |
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