h a l f b a k e r yNot so much a thought experiment as a single neuron misfire.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register.
Please log in or create an account.
|
Ever wonder why, after having submitted
hundreds upon thousands of personal
resumés in seeking that perfect job, it
always happens that some other joker ends
up landing 'your' position?!
Well, surprisingly, the disparity isn't in your
persona, knowledge or skill sets! People in
the know
already know that 'action words'
are the key to scripting potent resumés.
'What?', you say .. Why??'
Well, customarily, when Employers review
your qualifications, they basically browse for
catch phrases and keywords that speak as
to your potential value for them.
Luckily, (I said luckily) nowadays Employers
are swamped with applicants and have
resorted to being too lazy, too cheap, and
too disinterested in thumbing through all of
those well crafted, pertinent and valuable
creative works!
In today's job market, Companies scan
resumés and enter the contents into a
database. That information is then
habitually processed thru use of a character
recognition program (OCR). The more
'action words' that register, the more weight
your application carries when it comes
down to that critical interview.
NOW! Here's the juicy part!
If you could pre-load your personal
resumé's paper with a s**t-load of those
magical little 'action words', you could
veritably guarantee yourself interviews with
the loftiest of business firms!
BUT HOW??
You didn't read what I said ... Load "the
PAPER with 'action words'! Albeit invisible
to the naked eye, their Character
Recognition Program will give you the
highest of ranking and have you sittin'
pretty!
I mean, you could just about send in a
handwritten note, "Give up da job, or your
ass is mine!" LMAO!
I wrote and deleted two annotations because I decided that they constituted "taunting the newbie", and finally decided to start with this.
Normzone_20Paragraph_20Breaker
It would help with that resume, if it resembles the first paragraph of this idea. [normzone, Feb 08 2008]
Expert Resumes for Computer and Web Jobs
http://www.amazon.c...d=1202443805&sr=8-1
This book has several tips about dealing with electronic processing. [Spacecoyote, Feb 08 2008]
[link]
|
| |
I'm guessing here that you have
suffered heavily from the problem of
sending in thousands of resumés
without landing a job. Am I right, or am
I right? |
|
| |
If I understand correctly (which I would
consider to be quite a feat), you
propose to "pre-print" paper with
"action words" which are invisible to the
naked eye, but are picked up by OCRs
via a scanner. Is that about right? |
|
| |
OK, so, even if we accept the uncertain
premise that companies use such a pre-
screening technique, how does this
work? I mean, can you describe in a
little more detail this magical way of
putting these invisible 'action words'
onto the paper? |
|
| |
I know when I'm screening for employees I certainly don't use some computerised scanning word-recfognition machine. Even if I did use one to first-pass screen for likely candidates, I'd still then read all of the 30-50 CV's of the short list. Then call and interview everyone that looks good, kind of like what I do now. |
|
| |
Are you suggesting that people get awarded jobs based solely on the output of these OCR's? What is the basis of this assumption? Have you ever had a job, or hired someone? There is such a thing as a phone interview, as well as face-to-face interviews. |
|
| |
My dear Mr. Buchannon:
If memory serves me correctly, was it not
at all long ago that very infectuous and
popular job search television ads made
parody of the frustrations actual job
seekers encountered in submitting what
amounted to gaggles of parchment to
employer entities, not as magnanimous
as, say, yourself? |
|
| |
That is entirely possible, love. |
|
| |
However, I still wonder (a) whether any
employers actually use OCR-based
'scanning' like this and (b) how your magic
technology works. |
|
| |
To CustardGuts:
... not (awarded) the job, but 'an
advantaged consideration' in the
interview process with firms so large they
have trouble recognizing their own HR
people.
My apologies; I see you are actually the
magnanimous and prudent employer! |
|
| |
I still have questions (a) and (b). |
|
| |
The idea concerns the paper.
The technology is with the ink loaded
cartridges.
The copyright will be the software that
conjures the cryptographic spells! |
|
| |
Sadly this might work, but it is baked, because I did it. I had my resume in Word and added extra buzz words in white text at the bottom of my white resume. The trick is certainly as old as Google as tons of websites used to use this to appear high in the Google rankings. |
|
| |
I never got an interview from it, but I did get hundreds of calls based on buzz words that appeared visibly in my resume. |
|
| |
Welcome [Macdaddyx1] I like your name. |
|
| |
Buchannon: A D.O.L. Instructor currently
uses this tidbit of information (scanned
and electronically processed paper
resumés) in assisting job seekers. Yes!
This is the 21st century! |
|
| |
MisterQED: Having lengthy phone
conversations with prospective employers
is as bad as attending a formal gathering
in your drawls! Unless you're a
supermodel or heavyweight contender,
you don't stand a chance trying to sell
yourself over the phone. When was the
last time you bought anything over the
phone?? This hot résumé idea will help
you to sell yourself. Glad you pointed
out that it works! |
|
| |
Zeno: Why, thank you! I'm hopin' you're
a cute & cuddly chick... |
|
| |
Scanners are designed to 'read' in only a fairly narrow range of contrast; if it's not easily seen by humans, it would also be invisible to the scanner.
(On top of which, the basic premise is fatally flawed.) |
|
| |
This idea is much more practical for emailed resumes, which may be parsed into keywords by the recipient's email server. You could set the text color to white and type in thousands of keywords, invisible to the casual human reader but which would be marked "Excellent" by the computer. |
|
| |
//Having lengthy phone conversations with prospective employers//
No, I got phone calls asking for interviews based on the fact that my resume included one magic buzz word (an obscure database program that I had installed but have never used). |
|
| |
//scanned and electronically processed paper resumés// No, that was the 20th century, today in the 21st century resumes are emailed or entered directly on websites. |
|
| |
So your idea is to print your resume on special paper using special ink, so that when it is mailed and opened, the regular part of the resume will be visible to the naked eye but the sneaky part is written in IR reflective ink that is invisible to the naked eye but visible to the OCR scanner that will then feed into buzzword scanning software. |
|
| |
Who knows, it might work, if you find the one industry that has just the right amount of technology at their fingertips, but for everyone else it will fail. As for the fact that some expert told you that HR people use them, well I'd rate that as high as anything I read on the internet. I went to a group of those guys after my company was immolated and they had no clue. All their information was seriously dated and ultimately useless. Here is one piece of information that you can take to the bank, or to your next employer, “80% of all jobs are found though networking”. Resumes are basically worthless; the only way to find a job is to be referred. Save a tree call a friend. |
|
| |
Scanners work by reading and
interpolating diffracted light. That's why
page wrinkles (the secret copy of that
little incriminating memo), smear stains
(the evidentiary signs of the fun you had
after hours taking butt-shots on the
scanner when nobody was looking),
staples, coffee droplets, and a host of
other page anomalies are recognized by
scanners. The ink would have diffusing
properties, most likely clear platelets in
some plasma solution.
The OCR processor then interprets any
identifiable characters and filters out
unrecognizable features. |
|
| |
The paper itself would be a camouflaged
speckled color. |
|
| |
P.S.
MrQED: (.. Your post probably came
while I was responding to prior ..
Touché ! ) |
|
| |
I agree with you about said "experts"...
But, isn't that why were here; to explore
the possibilities?? |
|
| |
[-]Good idea but I had to go with the majority on this one. If you can do it, every other "joker" who is unworthy of this position can do it too. If they have the advantage now, they certainly will have it with this list of hot words. |
|
| |
I'm voting in favour [+]. Granted, it might only work with a minority of organisations. However, contra [Jscotty], I think that the kind of organisations that will fall for this will end up getting the kind of employees they deserve and will ultimately collapse under the sheer weight of system-playing, time-serving parasites, so that justice will ultimately be served... maybe. |
|
| |
`You c`ould send s`ubliminal mess`ages by italicizing the lette`rs of "Giv`e up da job, or your `ass is mi`ne" in such a way that you don't not`ice that message unless you really look har`d to f`ind all of the italicized letters and then underline them. The HR f`olks aren't wise to these simple shennanogans, bu`t 60% or the time it works every time! I've used that trick on handwritten legal write ups before and gotten out of huge trouble, which I will attribute to the slightly darker letters (I pushed harder with the pencil) spelling out a hidden message. |
|
| |
QuackScientist_Flux:
Wkht dcrs ycvr ckqqsy kjnbcfgafbin
cyqhcr hvwe to do wjrh my ewcxiiavt
ihra? Djg't yfu heme a phqe of ydhr oyn
to pezt to?
Oh, I fafqct; yeu dqx't ewcn hvue a ljke! |
|
| |
[Macdaddyx1]; I got the rest, but what is //kjnbcfgafbin//?
And I think what [quantum_flux] means is that a similar idea can work with people - the message of the italicised/bold text is subliminally registered by the reader. Hidden in plain sight, as it were. As with your idea, you can only read the actual message if you know how to look for it. |
|
| |
Gotta hand it to Aeon-Flux for "slippin'
one past the goalie!"
Nutrinos... You seem to have totally
missed that stealthy "kindergarten"
apostrophe cypher that got me cranky.
(..And I thought I was the newbie!!)
This HalfBakery is too much fun!
Nutrinos, you owe me a [+]... |
|
| |
Thank you ever so kindly for your grace,
forbearance, and benevolence in
bestowing upon me, not one, but two
'faux pas pardons' as discreetly
requested in the opening paragraph of
my home page. |
|
| |
Now,...(pause)... you owe me a [+]! LOL!! |
|
| |
Recruiters do use electronic processing, however they also actually read those resumes, so they'd probably recognize that either a computer wrote your resume, or you wrote it yourself after reading Dilbert and Doctor Seuss. |
|
| |
[Macd], welcome. If I may suggest, while the onus is on you to present the idea in such a way as to capture the attention of your reader, is! it! really!! necessary! to! deliver! all! your!! annotations! in! the! style!! of! a! circus! ringmaster!??? |
|
| |
That is, relax. Your annos are much easier to read when they don't look like you're bouncing off the walls. Genuinely. |
|
| |
Oh, all right. Now I 'digress.' This is my
virgin post; I thought all'o the quippiness
was just part of the fun! Scroll to the top
of this thread, you'll see that
MaxBuchanon threw the first water
balloon. |
|
| |
Two dead fish here; time to move to
next! |
|
| |
I just had a letter from a "potential" (for which read "hypothetical in the happy land of Oz") employer specifically informing me that my snail mail application for one of their posts is going to be scanned by OCR software and screened before being accessed by any human being. So, you see, it does happen. |
|
| |
I would write back, sending your regrets
but saying that, unfortunately, this
employer was not successful in securing
your services on this occassion. |
|
| |
Mr.Buchanon: this is uncharacteristic of
you, not crafting a completely coherent
sentence. What? Were you gnawing
away at your fingers? As is noted, this is
a plausible concept. |
|
| |
//not crafting a completely coherent sentence// Read it again, [Macdaddyx1]. |
|
| |
////not crafting a completely coherent sentence// //
sp. "occasion" - does that make it any more coherent?
//Scanners work by reading and interpolating diffracted light//
I'm pretty sure mine works by reflected, then possibly refracted light. [-] |
|
| |
'diffraction' has to do with the angle of
the light beam. Think stick bending in
water.
(a bending of the spoon, if you will)
Wrinkles, stains, and other page
anomalies appear because of this. |
|
| |
Don't forget to include my name in the
patent! I'm sure you'll never forget where
you got the idea from... |
|
| |
// Think stick bending in water//
Think.
That is "refraction", same as what happens in the lens of my scanner.
Diffraction occurs with very small apertures, and is an interference pattern. |
|
| |
'refraction' requires a passing of light thru
a medium and affects light velocity.
'diffraction' disturbs the wave pattern, and
creates an anomaly; but keep trying, I'm
sure you'll get it! |
|
| |
So how does the soggy bendy stick thing work then?
That's diffraction is it?
Do try to keep up.
Maybe you could make a diffraction grating with all those fishbones. |
|
| |
Abs: you're on point about refraction; my
quippy anno was meant as a
'sarcochasmistic blurp' - this idea is about
'diffraction' disturbing light to create
physical objects that can only be read
thru mechanical means. |
|
| |
A fair and creative thinker with strong analytical problem solving skills with a devotion towards being goal and results orientated. A very resourceful, conscientious, and well organized worker as well as trustworthy, practical, and reliable. Excellent writing and communications skills. Has the ability to quickly identify and systematically deal with the problem at hand. Very attentive to details. Very personable and has a genuine desire to work with and help others. Will work independently or with a team. Always willing to accept the next big challenge and get the job done right. |
|
| |
If you want to toot your own horn even more on your resume, italicise hidden messages as well! However, it is important to keep in mind that this is just to get your foot into the interview room, and that's it, so say something nice! |
|
| |
Three thumbs up Q_F! That was rather
spanky! (You wouldn't mind if I used that
..?) |
|
| |
Yeah, well, change it around a little bit though. Put in something like .... I've beaten Halo II and Mortal Kombat II in hard mode without any cheat codes .... something that makes them really want you. |
|
| |